It sure felt uneventful this year just lying around with sick kids. I'm so thankful that it was nothing major... and I have to admit I enjoy Kaylin's fevers - no fighting kids!
Just a few holiday highlights since I haven't written in forever.
~Kaylin telling me on Christmas Eve she wasn't asking Santa for anything besides the kitty because we already had too many presents under the tree.
~Santa getting nervous when Kaylin asked for the "kitty" until she explained it was a stuffed animal in a cage (kennel) and I nodded at him and smiled. Her #1 Christmas wish was a $10 clearance item she passed at Target. Score! But "Santa doesn't shop at Target, Mom." Kaylin stated as she worried about whether she would really get the cat.
~Kavan making his Christmas wish list to Santa only as specific as "presents."
~Kavan saying Merry Christmas to everyone everywhere we go.
~Kaylin understanding the REAL Christmas story better than ever before.
~Kavan saying after we visited a LIVE nativity scene where he was afraid to pet the "lambies" - "I want to go to another one!" Didn't know of too many other live nativities so we took them to "lights in the park," a huge charity display in Maplewood - only to find they had a power outage. At least we got to see the musical light show again, The kids loved that. (www.mnlightshow.com)
~Kai saying "whoah tree!" to every lit up tree in downtown St. Paul after first saying it to the Rice Park tree, which is bigger than the one in Rockefeller Center and caused Ben to become upset that they killed a tree so old. I was just happy to experience the Christmas magic of the location where Shayna and Matt just got engaged!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
oh no!
Kaylin just informed me she voted for Barack Obama at school today.
When asked why - because more people voted for him. Only 3 people voted for McCain.
So it will be today - people will vote to be cool, just like my little 5 year old.
When asked why - because more people voted for him. Only 3 people voted for McCain.
So it will be today - people will vote to be cool, just like my little 5 year old.
And the Winner is... the Media?
I really do fear the media will have their way in this election. I loved that the reinstatement of Bush in 04 shocked the world. Hadn't we been hearing abot how disliked he was all along? What were we thinking voting him in again?! What we are thinking is that the values of Hollywood and the mainstream media do not represent ours - the majority - those of us who live in the real world.
I can hope for a miracle this election too - in this case that the media bias this time around has been so OBVIOUS that people are angry and want to prove a point.
Yet they've been relentless. My personal choice has been to mostly tune out all radio & TV this election season. But most people are bombarded with the view from the left.
When I have had the news on in the background on a few occasions I've heard the name Obama about 10 times for every 1 mention of McCain. I see one candidate being presented as a rock star and the other as a... ? Well he's just not really presented much at all. I see attractive happy photos of one candidate and condescending photos of the other.
I've passed newspaper stands to see many front page articles about the campaigning process in general and many pics of volunteers going door to door - from only one party. And the ridiculous fascination with and reliance on polls just blows my mind when for every past election they've been shown to innacurately favor the left. Especially in MN - even though we've remained a blue state recently the difference between the parties presented ahead of time turned out to be much less on election day. And the sad thing is they've shown these polls influence people's vote, or in some cases make them less likely to vote, feeling their vote doesn't matter.
I've seen commercials for the left operating on an assumption that the majority of Americans dislike Bush. The dark background and eerie music plays as this statistic shows up on the screen "voted with Bush 90% of the time." Yes media, you've been successful in turning many, many away from Bush. Mostly due to misrepresenting the Iraq war and refusing to showcase the many, many positive things that have happened in that country. And managing to blame a presidency for economic downturn - as if one man has that kind of power. The last few years we've had a "stuck " government unable to accomplish anything with the liberal balance of power on the congressional side. But many experts agree that we got into this mess due to lessening credit restrictions and lending to unqualified buyers - a policy that was pushed by the Clinton administration.
Today is scary. There are huge personal freedoms at stake here. The right to defend yourself in your own home. The right to freedom of speech (there is an act democrats want that would successfully ban conservative talk radio). The rights of the states to govern their own people (the freedom of choice act would suddenly eliminate all state rulings limiting abortion)... and the right to live itself. Obama has the most liberal voting record of the entire senate. In his own state he even voted not to protect the lives of babies born alive after a failed abortion. And, he voted against the partial birth abortion ban. Under the excuse they all used - no health exception for the mother. What a completely unacceptable tag line. If the baby is halfway out why do you have to kill it first to save the life of the mother?!!!!
Come on people, your choices are a liberal or a moderate. I really don't understand the concept of undecided voters. Just like I don't understand how raising taxes on business owners would create jobs or how taxing the wealthy even more (the only ones with expendable income enough to spur the economy) than the already insane percentage of their income they already pay out is acceptable in a democracy. Or that "spreading the wealth" is a cause worth fighting for.
I can hope for a miracle this election too - in this case that the media bias this time around has been so OBVIOUS that people are angry and want to prove a point.
Yet they've been relentless. My personal choice has been to mostly tune out all radio & TV this election season. But most people are bombarded with the view from the left.
When I have had the news on in the background on a few occasions I've heard the name Obama about 10 times for every 1 mention of McCain. I see one candidate being presented as a rock star and the other as a... ? Well he's just not really presented much at all. I see attractive happy photos of one candidate and condescending photos of the other.
I've passed newspaper stands to see many front page articles about the campaigning process in general and many pics of volunteers going door to door - from only one party. And the ridiculous fascination with and reliance on polls just blows my mind when for every past election they've been shown to innacurately favor the left. Especially in MN - even though we've remained a blue state recently the difference between the parties presented ahead of time turned out to be much less on election day. And the sad thing is they've shown these polls influence people's vote, or in some cases make them less likely to vote, feeling their vote doesn't matter.
I've seen commercials for the left operating on an assumption that the majority of Americans dislike Bush. The dark background and eerie music plays as this statistic shows up on the screen "voted with Bush 90% of the time." Yes media, you've been successful in turning many, many away from Bush. Mostly due to misrepresenting the Iraq war and refusing to showcase the many, many positive things that have happened in that country. And managing to blame a presidency for economic downturn - as if one man has that kind of power. The last few years we've had a "stuck " government unable to accomplish anything with the liberal balance of power on the congressional side. But many experts agree that we got into this mess due to lessening credit restrictions and lending to unqualified buyers - a policy that was pushed by the Clinton administration.
Today is scary. There are huge personal freedoms at stake here. The right to defend yourself in your own home. The right to freedom of speech (there is an act democrats want that would successfully ban conservative talk radio). The rights of the states to govern their own people (the freedom of choice act would suddenly eliminate all state rulings limiting abortion)... and the right to live itself. Obama has the most liberal voting record of the entire senate. In his own state he even voted not to protect the lives of babies born alive after a failed abortion. And, he voted against the partial birth abortion ban. Under the excuse they all used - no health exception for the mother. What a completely unacceptable tag line. If the baby is halfway out why do you have to kill it first to save the life of the mother?!!!!
Come on people, your choices are a liberal or a moderate. I really don't understand the concept of undecided voters. Just like I don't understand how raising taxes on business owners would create jobs or how taxing the wealthy even more (the only ones with expendable income enough to spur the economy) than the already insane percentage of their income they already pay out is acceptable in a democracy. Or that "spreading the wealth" is a cause worth fighting for.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
October Highlights
It was a great month. Let's review from youngest to oldest. The oldest would be Ben who turns 32 this month!
Kai learned many new words, notably "whoah" and "uh-oh" which he says in the cutest ways at the most appropriate times. He is suddenly happy! It must be the medicine kicking in but he is suddenly so happy, sleeping well, and just not irritable all the time like he used to be. His first follow-up blood test revealed he is now in the thyroid range they want him to be. He passed his hearing evaluation with flying colors. Speakers in opposite corners of a soundproof both played crackling noises at a variety of levels along with stuffed animals on top that would light up and play the drums or cymbals to reward him. He just kept looking from left to right "whoah!" "whoah!" It was hilarious. He loves to entertain us, especially by getting that devious smile on his face when he runs away or does anything the opposite of what we are requesting.
Kavan is our second kindergartener. I always knew he was smart (although it's hard to see when he's throwing fits or refusing to wipe himself), but in September he did his early childhood evaluation and scored higher at 3.5 than Kaylin did at 4.5. And now he's keeping his learning level up to hers - learning whatever she does in kindergarten it seems. Like how to count to 100 "1, 2, skip a few, 99, 100!" They sing that over and over. They learned it from a new babysitter - another neighbor girl I was thrilled to find who is the daughter of a pastor of a local community church. She's great and I really needed a second neighbor girl as my first is getting older and busier. Kavan is so much fun when he's not getting angry. It's hard to be the middle child and I see this in him already.
Kaylin is doing simple math and reading a few basic words! Our first teacher's conference helped me to feel better that she's not SO far behind having not attended preschool, but there were definitely concerns - her not following directions right away and needing too much individual attention and instruction, and resorting to baby-like behaviors like asking to be carried. At home she is still a major drama queen and can compete with Kavan in her fits. And other days she just seems so grown up. Kaylin just completed another ballet class (at the Y) although she refused to participate in the recital and prefers freestyle.
I am really enjoying my serving job and especially my break from the kids! The money is a much needed answer to prayer but I still can't quite put Kav in preschool, which is a definite goal. Or pay off the medical bills, but that's what the granola is for :). The checks are high at Tria and the number of tables isn't as high as past restaurants since they stay there so long, but the tips are between 15-40 a table. And Friday night, while the kids stayed home in costume handing out organic fruit leather with the "fruit of the spirit" verse on top, I got to wait on the friendliest people ever who left me a $50 tip on a $90 tab.
I am still so excited about granola and am kicking off that business this week. Ben made me wait until I was done with my boot camp class :). Half of my original inventory purchase is already gone between our family and a friend who bought some. Now I just need to tell the rest of the world! I will have samples at a business expo this week for my local MOMS club.
The biggest highlight for me this month was that just last week I found child care two mornings a week in addition to the one I had - This will significantly lower my stress level having three 2.5 hour chunks away from the kids to catch up on things. This has been a long frustrating search with several leads that kept turning up empty. For a second time I put an ad on the "needs board" at my church and the first response was from a woman who wanted to help but wanted more money than I said I could pay in my ad. I was so mad she even responded and then we ended up going back and forth on email - her explaining why she needed more money! The most recent response was from a mom who lives in Centerville, a couple blocks from Kaylin's school! I met her last week and get this - she drinks raw milk, uses homeopathic and naturopathic treatments, and doesn't vaccinate her kids! God has a sense of humor - it took so long to find her but it paid off.
Ben is doing a great job holding up the house and dealing with the kids while I'm working more. I'm very thankful to him for providing me this opportunity and having a good attitude about it -especially after his own long, busy days - those teenagers just won't let up! Especially given my new work situation I'm very thankful for his M-F daytime hours though, and can definitely see the positives to him having not gotten the sgt. position. Thanks for working so hard for us Ben!
And now the time change - I embrace this wholeheartedly. This year I used my extra hour simply to adjust my schedule. I have been desperately needing more sleep. The kids are going to bed earlier now so I should be able to still get some stuff done at night, but they are waking up early so I need to be disciplined. So it's in bed by 930, lights out by 10 for the Johnson parents now! (Ben has been trying to get me to do this for years...)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The U of M tries to make Guinness Book
It's that time of year... where I'm about to unplug the TV and radios not because I'm sick of hearing political ads but because I'm sick of hearing about the flu shot! Today I just heard the U of M this week is having a flu shot clinic for staff/students and hopes to set a new world record for the number of free flu shots given in one day - they are planning on 6-10 thousand. The radio announcer sounded thrilled about this wonderul gift to humanity.
The flu shot has become popular simply as wishful thinking - something to hope in. The evidence for its success is simply not there. The media and medical establishment could do a much better job educating people at how few strains of flu it actually protects against. There was a huge study just done in Europe of thousands of children that showed NO reduction in flu incidence or deaths between vaccinated and unvaccinated children. And yet every year we are encouraged to keep putting mercury, aluminum and formaldehyde into our bodies, all which are carcinogenic substances. Meanwhile the cancer charities are calling on me several times a year to donate to research for this "mysterious" disease that now kills 1 in 2 people - research which looks to find a drug cure and does not investigate some of the promising natural alternatives that are being used successfully in many parts of the world.
The connections between pharmaceutical companies and government is another whole story all together. People need to wake up to this and do their own research into what they put into their bodies instead of trusting a profit-driven elitist establishment.
I like to educate people about the flu shot because at this point is still seen as optional. I feel hopeless about convincing people that the "required" shots are just as harmful. I'm seeing a large trend of women who take more time to look into the vaccine issue, but consult only medical sources from one side of the coin and come back to the same decision. Tuesday I talked to a woman who was scheduling a hearing test for Kai. She mentioned her grandson's developmental delays were due to autism... that he was developing just fine and took a sudden turn after his 1 year shots. It pains me to hear this story time and again. The CDC actually admitted last year that there is a link between vaccines and autism, but tried to downplay it by mentioning it required a genetic predisposition, and quickly tried to shift the conversation into another direction. As if we know which of our children are more likely to be genetically inclined to this!
I'm looking forward to researching and writing a lot more on this subject... some day when I have time. :)
The flu shot has become popular simply as wishful thinking - something to hope in. The evidence for its success is simply not there. The media and medical establishment could do a much better job educating people at how few strains of flu it actually protects against. There was a huge study just done in Europe of thousands of children that showed NO reduction in flu incidence or deaths between vaccinated and unvaccinated children. And yet every year we are encouraged to keep putting mercury, aluminum and formaldehyde into our bodies, all which are carcinogenic substances. Meanwhile the cancer charities are calling on me several times a year to donate to research for this "mysterious" disease that now kills 1 in 2 people - research which looks to find a drug cure and does not investigate some of the promising natural alternatives that are being used successfully in many parts of the world.
The connections between pharmaceutical companies and government is another whole story all together. People need to wake up to this and do their own research into what they put into their bodies instead of trusting a profit-driven elitist establishment.
I like to educate people about the flu shot because at this point is still seen as optional. I feel hopeless about convincing people that the "required" shots are just as harmful. I'm seeing a large trend of women who take more time to look into the vaccine issue, but consult only medical sources from one side of the coin and come back to the same decision. Tuesday I talked to a woman who was scheduling a hearing test for Kai. She mentioned her grandson's developmental delays were due to autism... that he was developing just fine and took a sudden turn after his 1 year shots. It pains me to hear this story time and again. The CDC actually admitted last year that there is a link between vaccines and autism, but tried to downplay it by mentioning it required a genetic predisposition, and quickly tried to shift the conversation into another direction. As if we know which of our children are more likely to be genetically inclined to this!
I'm looking forward to researching and writing a lot more on this subject... some day when I have time. :)
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Natalie Eva!
Every new baby is an amazing reminder of the miracle of life.
Here is my precious new niece Natalie.
I was very privileged to be the first to meet her (besides her parents!)
Natlie Eva Carlson, born to Jon and Rachel
5:39 p.m. Oct 18th
8 lbs 9 oz, 20 inches
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Double the Fighting
I knew the day would come where I would have not two but three squabbling children. I just didn't know how soon! Kai's favorite new word of this past week has been "no!" So Kavan, his older brother whose keen mind is always looking for trouble, decided to start responding "yes!"
I now get to hear this exchange several times a day: "no" yes" "no" "yes" "no" "yes"...
And today, Kai learned the word "yes."
I now get to hear this exchange several times a day: "no" yes" "no" "yes" "no" "yes"...
And today, Kai learned the word "yes."
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Relaxation: A Photo Journal
I would never find the words to describe this trip. Relaxing was just too weird for me. WONDERFUL, just weird. So here's a few photos to express the beauty of our time away up north.
the cabin from the top of the hill, this is all their land
the cabin from the top of the hill, this is all their land
As beautiful as the outdoor colors were, I was just as happy to be in here!
No we didn't really have to use this!
The view from the main door facing the back of the cabin.
Please view more pictures!
http://www1.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=233707915/a=20602002/t_=20602002
Sunday, October 5, 2008
The MintyVan
Our journey in photos:
Ben is sad to give up the truck. Ha.
The kids have no idea where we are going. The devious smile means "we are about to cause major problems on yet another drive where we are squeezed entirely too close together."
Exploring inside the "big surprise."
We have since taken out that end seat for easy in and out. With the power sliding door, the kids can even hop in and buckle themselves while I'm still in the house!
Look how much space in between them! And Kav still finds stuff to get into...
I don't think so baby Kai!
Their first "separated" drive.
How prophetic that my kids asked for a minty-van. That certainly describes the color "silver pine mica" quite well. Although in some lights our van looks almost silver and in some lights a bright medium green color. I love it. One of the more unique colors in a popular vehicle. Much quicker to pick out of a parking lot than was a black ford explorer! I can't tell you how many times my kids attempted to get in someone else's vehicle.
So what will I aspire to now? Just kidding - but this really is a dream come true. Kari says I need a new tag line. I was always saying
"when I get a minivan..."
Other news - I love my new job. I do not feel busier - I feel like I get a much needed break from the kids a couple nights a week and even get to socialize with other adults! Last night I made $120 serving at a wedding that rented out the restaurant for the reception. It's so good to finally be done training.
We are going away for a few days - first trip away without the kids. I absolutely can't even fathom what this is going to be like - 3 days/nights at a cabin in the middle of nowhere up north almost in Canada.
Rach please keep that baby inside! :) Shayna have fun in Cali!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
good days
I've had some good days with the kids lately. Some long awaited, much needed good days!
Part of the secret I think is to look fore the positive more. In every situation of frustration or anger, with little kids, there are many things to laugh about!
Kaylin is becoming more and more vocal about "all the other kids" at school - On one day when I completely misjudged the weather she let me know how hot she was at school. "All the other kids were wearing shorts." The next day I wasn't about to make the same mistake. But she came out of her room in long sleeves and jeans again. She had checked the weather by looking out her window. I did manage to convince her to change by reminding her of the day before.
Kavan and Kai both managed to make a scene at the library. I have never gotten any of my kids to just sit still and listen during a storytime. During the brief moment when Kavan sat down, the librarian asked what song we should sing. Kavan did not hesitate to answer the way he always does to that question. "Hush little Kavan!" he yelled out. He said it about 5 more times before I clarified his request and explained his bedtime song to the librarian. He settled for the ABC's instead. Did I mention there were about 50 moms/children there? And Kai was not the least bit interested in sitting on my lap but decided he should be on the storyteller's lap. Who could say no to Kai? There he sat while she tried to show the pictures to both the rest of the room and the child on her lap. That didn't last too long though and thankfully we had the excuse of Kaylin's kindergarten pickup time to get us out of there.
Kav made up a song the other day in the car about Jordan's daddy that he sang over and over. He said it would bring him back. I still need to answer numerous questions every week about when he's coming back and why he's gone.
Kai has a mesh bag he eats food through from his OT. He loves to have it in his mouth and squeeze all the juice out of oranges. The idea is that he will get used to the taste of foods without having to worry about the texture since he's such a picky eater. He takes down his pants regularly now. I try not to encourage going to the bathroom but if one of his siblings says "he wants to go potty," Kai's there. He says "all gone," in many contexts with words and the sign, all day long. If Kaylin goes down a slide - "all gone"
It has been very fun to see how all 3 of them have progressed in their abilities on the playground equipment at parks. Kai LOVES running around on the bridges and steps and it's hard to pull him away. He is starting to have fits when he doesn't get what he wants. Like wearing his shoes to bed. Not going to happen.
I'm consciously working on slowing down the pace for all of us. It's really hard for me. Good opportunities are out there everywhere I turn! Yet I realize everytime I say "yes" to something else I'm saying no to Ben and the kids, so I'm certainly trying to be more selective. And the reward is that I'm starting to experience more joy in my conversations with my kids. They are experts at making me laugh. The other day I dropped something off at a friend's house who wasn't home. They tried to solve the mystery of where she was, where her kids were, and why her husband's truck was there but he wasn't home. I told them she went on a trip to Seattle. "Who's Attle?" Kaylin says.
Part of the secret I think is to look fore the positive more. In every situation of frustration or anger, with little kids, there are many things to laugh about!
Kaylin is becoming more and more vocal about "all the other kids" at school - On one day when I completely misjudged the weather she let me know how hot she was at school. "All the other kids were wearing shorts." The next day I wasn't about to make the same mistake. But she came out of her room in long sleeves and jeans again. She had checked the weather by looking out her window. I did manage to convince her to change by reminding her of the day before.
Kavan and Kai both managed to make a scene at the library. I have never gotten any of my kids to just sit still and listen during a storytime. During the brief moment when Kavan sat down, the librarian asked what song we should sing. Kavan did not hesitate to answer the way he always does to that question. "Hush little Kavan!" he yelled out. He said it about 5 more times before I clarified his request and explained his bedtime song to the librarian. He settled for the ABC's instead. Did I mention there were about 50 moms/children there? And Kai was not the least bit interested in sitting on my lap but decided he should be on the storyteller's lap. Who could say no to Kai? There he sat while she tried to show the pictures to both the rest of the room and the child on her lap. That didn't last too long though and thankfully we had the excuse of Kaylin's kindergarten pickup time to get us out of there.
Kav made up a song the other day in the car about Jordan's daddy that he sang over and over. He said it would bring him back. I still need to answer numerous questions every week about when he's coming back and why he's gone.
Kai has a mesh bag he eats food through from his OT. He loves to have it in his mouth and squeeze all the juice out of oranges. The idea is that he will get used to the taste of foods without having to worry about the texture since he's such a picky eater. He takes down his pants regularly now. I try not to encourage going to the bathroom but if one of his siblings says "he wants to go potty," Kai's there. He says "all gone," in many contexts with words and the sign, all day long. If Kaylin goes down a slide - "all gone"
It has been very fun to see how all 3 of them have progressed in their abilities on the playground equipment at parks. Kai LOVES running around on the bridges and steps and it's hard to pull him away. He is starting to have fits when he doesn't get what he wants. Like wearing his shoes to bed. Not going to happen.
I'm consciously working on slowing down the pace for all of us. It's really hard for me. Good opportunities are out there everywhere I turn! Yet I realize everytime I say "yes" to something else I'm saying no to Ben and the kids, so I'm certainly trying to be more selective. And the reward is that I'm starting to experience more joy in my conversations with my kids. They are experts at making me laugh. The other day I dropped something off at a friend's house who wasn't home. They tried to solve the mystery of where she was, where her kids were, and why her husband's truck was there but he wasn't home. I told them she went on a trip to Seattle. "Who's Attle?" Kaylin says.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Funny Man Kai
He is turning into a little man! He loves to make us laugh, and he loves to see what he can get away with. He thinks the funniest thing ever is when you are watching TV (I am trying to watch my exercise videos to learn the new routine by tomorrow!) and he changes the channel. He runs away and squeals with delight, and goes right back to do it again once you change it back.
Here is my proud moment of the day. Naturally I did not feel he was ready for potty training or that he would be any time soon consider his developmental delays. But I went in the bathroom today to find him standing in front of the toilet with his pants down! He is actually a very smart kid - not cognitively delayed. I have to remind everyone that since he is behind in all the other areas.
Another activity he entertains us all with is mimicking us. He repeats many one syllable words now, to the best of his ability, and repeats sounds and simple actions we make. We sigh, he sighs. We blow on our food to cool it down, he blows on his food. He likes to say "weeeee!" on swings and knows 5 baby signs now. It's fun to finally be able to communicate with him and show him we understand what he wants.
Here is the medical update: The doctors at the children's hospital got a hold of the MRI scans and agreed they are concerned with the small size of the pituitary. Because this increases the likelyhood of low thyroid levels, they want to start him on synthroid anyway, even though his numbers are currently good, because they were low previously. I do believe that God has healed him in many ways and it's possible for God to use even a small pituitary to produce enough thyroid hormone as he has recently - however the doctors are only requesting he take it until he's three, and then we can reevaluate and check his levels again. Since it's a relatively harmless drug and I don't want to fight the system we're going to go for it. There is a natural version of thyroid but it comes from pigs and I have a problem with that. I'm thankful we'll have an opportunity to get him off medicine in just over a year. The endocrinologist said the growth hormone stimulation test is optional at this point, (at his age it is not detrimental if it's a little low) but we probably will go ahead with it. Problem is no one can tell me how much it will cost - not the clinic, not the insurance company, and not the provider network. They are sending me in circles. So this test will likely be in October. This is the excruciating 4 hours in a hospital room with him wide awake hooked up to an IV and he can't eat or drink, after fasting overnight.
Here is my proud moment of the day. Naturally I did not feel he was ready for potty training or that he would be any time soon consider his developmental delays. But I went in the bathroom today to find him standing in front of the toilet with his pants down! He is actually a very smart kid - not cognitively delayed. I have to remind everyone that since he is behind in all the other areas.
Another activity he entertains us all with is mimicking us. He repeats many one syllable words now, to the best of his ability, and repeats sounds and simple actions we make. We sigh, he sighs. We blow on our food to cool it down, he blows on his food. He likes to say "weeeee!" on swings and knows 5 baby signs now. It's fun to finally be able to communicate with him and show him we understand what he wants.
Here is the medical update: The doctors at the children's hospital got a hold of the MRI scans and agreed they are concerned with the small size of the pituitary. Because this increases the likelyhood of low thyroid levels, they want to start him on synthroid anyway, even though his numbers are currently good, because they were low previously. I do believe that God has healed him in many ways and it's possible for God to use even a small pituitary to produce enough thyroid hormone as he has recently - however the doctors are only requesting he take it until he's three, and then we can reevaluate and check his levels again. Since it's a relatively harmless drug and I don't want to fight the system we're going to go for it. There is a natural version of thyroid but it comes from pigs and I have a problem with that. I'm thankful we'll have an opportunity to get him off medicine in just over a year. The endocrinologist said the growth hormone stimulation test is optional at this point, (at his age it is not detrimental if it's a little low) but we probably will go ahead with it. Problem is no one can tell me how much it will cost - not the clinic, not the insurance company, and not the provider network. They are sending me in circles. So this test will likely be in October. This is the excruciating 4 hours in a hospital room with him wide awake hooked up to an IV and he can't eat or drink, after fasting overnight.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
The School Girl
Here she is on her first big day:
Doesn't she look grown-up?! She certainly feels that way, and AT TiMES she acts that way... She loves kindergarten. She loves her teacher.
In her hands she clings to a note from her daddy wishing her a great first day at school. Immediately after this photo it blew under the bus and she freaked. We recovered it on the other side. She is very sad not to ride the bus, if you can believe that! She sees all her "friends" getting on the bus.
When Kaylin is not discussing her classroom rules or computer lab experience she still seems like a preschooler, sillyness and all. Every day she makes up songs. The other day I caught her singing this in the bathroom
(to the tune of "up above the world so high,like a diamond in the sky"):
"Gra-and-ma and Gra-am-my
miss me really really really much..."
(now keep in mind she's in the bathroom - here was the next line)
"wiping, wiping, wiping, wiping"
I won't share the rest of the song.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Shoes
"Shoes" is Kai's favorite word. When he's not saying it, he's looking for them, trying to take them off or put them on, or moving them around the house. He actually puts them away where they belong - he moves pairs one at a time from the front door to the mud room down the hall. That's more than I can say for my older two!
He also likes to say socks, ball, daddy, and is just starting mommy. He doesn't quite have a hang of the consonant at the end of the one-syllable words (baw), but you know what he means. And "meh" accompanied by the appropriate sign language means milk. He was very excited to figure out how to ask for something and get our response! We praise him immensely. He is so cute squeezing his little fingers together and I much prefer to hear "meh meh meh" than his cry.
He has provided us with a lot of entertainment lately with all of his copying. His cognitive abilities are very impressive for his small size, considering he's behind in all the other developmental areas. Today as we gave him eggs for supper that were a bit too hot he would blow on each bite before putting it in his mouth. Later tonight he was throwing pillows around with Kav in his room. But at least when they were done he went to put his pillow back where it belongs (which is on the window sill, to block the morning light that comes through the severely scissors-cut window shade)!
He also likes to say socks, ball, daddy, and is just starting mommy. He doesn't quite have a hang of the consonant at the end of the one-syllable words (baw), but you know what he means. And "meh" accompanied by the appropriate sign language means milk. He was very excited to figure out how to ask for something and get our response! We praise him immensely. He is so cute squeezing his little fingers together and I much prefer to hear "meh meh meh" than his cry.
He has provided us with a lot of entertainment lately with all of his copying. His cognitive abilities are very impressive for his small size, considering he's behind in all the other developmental areas. Today as we gave him eggs for supper that were a bit too hot he would blow on each bite before putting it in his mouth. Later tonight he was throwing pillows around with Kav in his room. But at least when they were done he went to put his pillow back where it belongs (which is on the window sill, to block the morning light that comes through the severely scissors-cut window shade)!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Updates on our Lives!
Tonight is one of several times I hired a sitter this week while Ben’s working his biggest OT week of the year, just to prevent complete overwhelm. So the thought of using this time to write instead of accomplish anything more pressing on my to-do list caused me to feel momentarily ill with anxiety. I think that’s why I decided to do it. So much for the comprehensive fitness assessment I have to have designed by Thursday afternoon or the financial dilemmas that would be hugely solved if I just got the may/june budget balanced finally (balanced = try to find money to pull out of thin air). I am so frustrated with the obligation-race of life. I remember a year ago when I started this blog and I was so excited for this new outlet, this new opportunity for ”me time” that I wanted to make a priority. I actually feel I did pretty well for a long time. But what once seemed like a reasonable goal has of late become an impossibility, considering I try to eat and even sleep a little in each 24-hour period.
In the past few months there actually have been a few journals written, or at least parts of them, and hopefully they will eventually be posted. I just never got around to finalizing even one. Sadly many cute quotes from the kids have come and gone. I know those are my readers’ favorites. At this time I certainly feel I owe everyone at least an update on our lives… a brief explanation of this time period in which I’ve been presumed M.I.A.
Shall we start with the youngest of the clan? I can say with confidence that “Sweet Baby Kai” has achieved toddlerhood now. I hope to get some of his first steps on YouTube soon, and some updated photos on this blog as well.
The first steps, as with my other two, were accomplished by enticing him towards something he knows he’s not supposed to touch, in this case TV buttons. This was a few days ago, and now he will freely let go of one piece of furniture and move to the other – as long as there are only 2 or 3 steps in between. He certainly needs to have something to reach for. It is only fear that has held him back on this one. Although he has yet to say a real word, his speech is developing very quickly these last couple months. He loves to babble and yell, and say ba-bah to anyone leaving the front door, if he is in the right mood. His favorite activities involve emptying and filling containers, stacking blocks, and rolling balls and cars back and forth with us.
Despite the recent thrills, before any of them happened I started being proactive with his developmental delays and contacted the county early childhood intervention program – for the second time. The first was at about a year, and they feel just horrible they somehow lost me in the system and never got back to me. They have been out to the house for various meetings and evaluations of Kai 4 times now in the last month or so. The results are in and Kai qualifies for assistance because he scored significantly low in the following areas (in order from the lowest): Gross Motor, Social/Emotional, Fine Motor, Adaptive Behaviors, and Speech. His speech qualification was borderline, and his cognitive score was within normal limits. Starting in the school year Kai will see an occupational therapist in our home once a week. There are other specialists that will work with the OT to assist with his plan that could also be coming out to the house, but an OT will be able to help best with the wide range of areas he has needs in.
Kai has been my most difficult baby in so many ways. I’m sure just the time challenges of the other two is a big part of it. His gross motor scores are no surprise considering the amount of time we have spent holding him! It is a relief when Ben arrives home to help, however that isn’t the end of our problems with him. Then he will not go to me! He has become the biggest “daddy’s boy” we have had. He’ll be fine until he sees Ben, but once Ben is around if he does not have his complete attention or is not in his arms he is crying. Many nursery workers have gotten a chuckle out of watching him seem somewhat excited to see me, and then freak out hysterically when he sees Ben, until he is in his arms. If Ben is holding him and I walk up to them, he will push me away. It makes me sad.
(Since the date this was originally written there are obviously more important updates regarding Kai and his health status, which I will post soon.)
Kavan
Our explosive bundle of energy meets every definition of the word “THREE.” Although he is typically our most difficult child at this time, I am thankful for that – because it means Kaylin is no longer! There is huge relief in knowing this stage in life too shall pass. Not much more than a year ago I thought Kaylin was always going to be my biggest challenge in life.
Along with ‘most difficult’ Kav also gets the label “most fun!” He is full of attitude and defiance but with the right tickle or bear hug you can soften his heart and bring him to his knees with laughter. Just don’t expect him to do anything that requires him to stop playing! Including go to the bathroom. Should you ignore his potty dance, an hour later he will be grabbing his pants, doing his one-legged squat, grunting, and still tell you he doesn’t have to go potty. When he is damp and crying, you still have to TELL him to go to the bathroom. This after being fully trained for more than a year.
Kav’s newest affection is rocks. He looks for them every where he goes. He hoards them in his pockets. They turn up in my washer. (Stone-washed jeans anyone?) On our way into church each week he looks for a rock. Since his Dad won’t let him bring it in, he places it on a ledge beneath a railing right before the door, and races to get back to it after the service. He knows exactly where he left it on the long ledge. His face lights up. “My rock!”
Kaylin
Kaylin is practicing kindergarten this summer, as she goes to her “program park” she calls it, several days a week. It runs Mon-Thurs mornings and I usually send her three of those four. After missing a real preschool experience, I was convinced this type of structure and social interaction would help her get ready for school. It is sponsored by the Y, so it is very inexpensive and I get an employee discount.
Mentally she is ready. I’m amazed at her emerging knowledge of the world around her. She is incredibly observant and notices so much more about the world around her than I do. One day we were heading south on the freeway by our house and she said “There’s a cross on that barn!” I had not seen it, nor had I ever noticed it on this frequently traveled route. I remember wondering how long it would be until the ACLU would get a law passed banning crosses from homes that can be seen from public freeways. Later that week we were traveling the other direction on that same stretch of road and this time Ben was with us. I happened to look up and see “the cross!” I told Ben the story. He then pointed out that every barn had them – it was a weathervane.
Kaylin asks tough questions that I don’t always have answers for. Like “where is heaven?” And today, “When does Jordan’s daddy get back from Heaven?”
I actually can answer that one, although I certainly don’t like the answer. And it leads to only so many more questions that I cannot answer – about Heaven, Jesus, God, life and death.
She wants to know as I tuck her into bed at night when we are going to Disney World. Ben was not thrilled that I told her when she is 9, and Kavan is 7 and Kai is 5. I remember when my parents gave us specific ages, and yes we held them to it, and they took us on time.
A couple cute quotes: “I’m getting a bad heart.” I really wish Ben would be more careful about his library book selections for her age group.
(The next one was after another potty dance episode from Kavan, who was refusing to go potty by saying “It went back in.”) “It does not go back in Kavan. Potty comes out of you and it does not go back in and turn into food again.”
Ben
My dear husband is under more stress than ever before in his life: working, overtime, school, his men’s group, the promotional process at work, 3 disobedient children desperate for his attention and an exhausted wife. Most of the time he is handling it all very well actually, and we are both learning to reduce our commitments and “say no” more for the sake of our sanity. Physical fitness has always been a huge stress reliever for him and it has been amazing to see the difference in his persona since we have started working out again. I’m sure there is much more to be said about Ben but I’ll have to convince him to do his own post again soon.
Karissa
That leaves me. Do I have my own life? I will write this and then decide. I certainly think this section will be geared more towards the family in general. I figured out that the last time I wrote a blog entry was the day before I started employment at the Y. So THAT’S what tipped me over the edge.
In all seriousness though, that has been the most wonderful change, I can’t even begin to describe how much I love working there 2 hours a week, and how much the whole fam enjoys going their regularly for our workouts. The kids love “KidStuff”. They love to go swimming, and attend activities like “Messy Play,” swimming lessons and gym time. Mom and Dad are much happier getting exercise again. It feels great to be getting back into shape. I love teaching Bodypump. I would do it for free, and yet I get paid to get my workout in and we get a much reduced membership rate, after which I still do end up coming away with income each month, although so far it has been spent on Bodypump clothing and other workout materials.
Perhaps the bigger reason I haven’t had time to write is my running group which started in April. The end of March and beginning of April I was suddenly working full-time, literally, getting the group up and running. It has continued to be more work than I planned on, mostly in the large amount of email communication with the 25 participants in my class. I have enjoyed every minute of it, and it’s great to be running again twice a week with the group, but I feel confident in my decision to charge more next year. I am offering the same rate to this year’s participants, and I’m pretty sure many will be back. I have been so excited to see how much the women love the group and to personally witness the healthy lifestyle changes. We don’t only run, we do walk/run intervals for more fat burning, and two overweight gals about my age have lost 25 pounds.
BUSY? – I am becoming convinced this is a very relative term. Let me back up - Recently I’ve felt convicted through more than one church sermon to “slow down” and make more room for enjoyment in life. I’ve thought about it long and hard to come up with ways to do this and was not able to come up with many ideas for changes to make. Sure there are the financially unrealistic (“don’t work”), but I couldn’t come up with many doable options for us. Instead I concluded for the most part we are doing what we can in this area. We are definitely learning to say no more, and I even took Kaylin out of a dance class that she loved, that was FREE, to get back to the “1 activity at a time rule” since we are in swimming lessons. Back to busy being a relative term: Despite the number of things going on the last few months and how crazy it all must sound, I feel less stressed than I have in a long time. I don’t consider us more busy because we take the kids to swimming lessons once a week. Let me tell you, when we are out and about with them, it feels a LOT less busy than being at home with them!
I often talk about how crazy it is, and typically I’m only referring to parenting 3 kids under 5. (Oh no, I can’t say that any more! I remember when I used to be able to say 3 kids under 4!) The truth is I really don’t like it most of the time and despite everyone’s warnings I really do look forward to them growing up a bit. People say all the time “enjoy them while they’re young” and Ben and I just can’t figure out how to do that when they are not enjoyable! I sometimes wonder if I would have had kids as soon as I did if I really would have known how hard it is. I sometimes wonder if I would have had kids! No wonder no one truly warns you, the population would go extinct!
I’m still trying to solve the mystery of where my time goes each day. I’m puzzled at how to find time to play with the kids. I prepare simple meals, serve them, clean up after them, do dishes and laundry, change diapers and force potty breaks, break up fights, and clean up spills and messes. I check email and only write back half the time. I long for having more to show for my day.
I write only to describe the mystery, not to complain. Okay maybe a little. But I am coming more and more to terms with my stage of life, reducing my expectations and accepting more my circumstances. I know how quickly these days will go by. I do not know how Kaylin became 5. Pretty soon Kai will be too. And then Kaylin will remind me we need to go to Disney World.
In the past few months there actually have been a few journals written, or at least parts of them, and hopefully they will eventually be posted. I just never got around to finalizing even one. Sadly many cute quotes from the kids have come and gone. I know those are my readers’ favorites. At this time I certainly feel I owe everyone at least an update on our lives… a brief explanation of this time period in which I’ve been presumed M.I.A.
Shall we start with the youngest of the clan? I can say with confidence that “Sweet Baby Kai” has achieved toddlerhood now. I hope to get some of his first steps on YouTube soon, and some updated photos on this blog as well.
The first steps, as with my other two, were accomplished by enticing him towards something he knows he’s not supposed to touch, in this case TV buttons. This was a few days ago, and now he will freely let go of one piece of furniture and move to the other – as long as there are only 2 or 3 steps in between. He certainly needs to have something to reach for. It is only fear that has held him back on this one. Although he has yet to say a real word, his speech is developing very quickly these last couple months. He loves to babble and yell, and say ba-bah to anyone leaving the front door, if he is in the right mood. His favorite activities involve emptying and filling containers, stacking blocks, and rolling balls and cars back and forth with us.
Despite the recent thrills, before any of them happened I started being proactive with his developmental delays and contacted the county early childhood intervention program – for the second time. The first was at about a year, and they feel just horrible they somehow lost me in the system and never got back to me. They have been out to the house for various meetings and evaluations of Kai 4 times now in the last month or so. The results are in and Kai qualifies for assistance because he scored significantly low in the following areas (in order from the lowest): Gross Motor, Social/Emotional, Fine Motor, Adaptive Behaviors, and Speech. His speech qualification was borderline, and his cognitive score was within normal limits. Starting in the school year Kai will see an occupational therapist in our home once a week. There are other specialists that will work with the OT to assist with his plan that could also be coming out to the house, but an OT will be able to help best with the wide range of areas he has needs in.
Kai has been my most difficult baby in so many ways. I’m sure just the time challenges of the other two is a big part of it. His gross motor scores are no surprise considering the amount of time we have spent holding him! It is a relief when Ben arrives home to help, however that isn’t the end of our problems with him. Then he will not go to me! He has become the biggest “daddy’s boy” we have had. He’ll be fine until he sees Ben, but once Ben is around if he does not have his complete attention or is not in his arms he is crying. Many nursery workers have gotten a chuckle out of watching him seem somewhat excited to see me, and then freak out hysterically when he sees Ben, until he is in his arms. If Ben is holding him and I walk up to them, he will push me away. It makes me sad.
(Since the date this was originally written there are obviously more important updates regarding Kai and his health status, which I will post soon.)
Kavan
Our explosive bundle of energy meets every definition of the word “THREE.” Although he is typically our most difficult child at this time, I am thankful for that – because it means Kaylin is no longer! There is huge relief in knowing this stage in life too shall pass. Not much more than a year ago I thought Kaylin was always going to be my biggest challenge in life.
Along with ‘most difficult’ Kav also gets the label “most fun!” He is full of attitude and defiance but with the right tickle or bear hug you can soften his heart and bring him to his knees with laughter. Just don’t expect him to do anything that requires him to stop playing! Including go to the bathroom. Should you ignore his potty dance, an hour later he will be grabbing his pants, doing his one-legged squat, grunting, and still tell you he doesn’t have to go potty. When he is damp and crying, you still have to TELL him to go to the bathroom. This after being fully trained for more than a year.
Kav’s newest affection is rocks. He looks for them every where he goes. He hoards them in his pockets. They turn up in my washer. (Stone-washed jeans anyone?) On our way into church each week he looks for a rock. Since his Dad won’t let him bring it in, he places it on a ledge beneath a railing right before the door, and races to get back to it after the service. He knows exactly where he left it on the long ledge. His face lights up. “My rock!”
Kaylin
Kaylin is practicing kindergarten this summer, as she goes to her “program park” she calls it, several days a week. It runs Mon-Thurs mornings and I usually send her three of those four. After missing a real preschool experience, I was convinced this type of structure and social interaction would help her get ready for school. It is sponsored by the Y, so it is very inexpensive and I get an employee discount.
Mentally she is ready. I’m amazed at her emerging knowledge of the world around her. She is incredibly observant and notices so much more about the world around her than I do. One day we were heading south on the freeway by our house and she said “There’s a cross on that barn!” I had not seen it, nor had I ever noticed it on this frequently traveled route. I remember wondering how long it would be until the ACLU would get a law passed banning crosses from homes that can be seen from public freeways. Later that week we were traveling the other direction on that same stretch of road and this time Ben was with us. I happened to look up and see “the cross!” I told Ben the story. He then pointed out that every barn had them – it was a weathervane.
Kaylin asks tough questions that I don’t always have answers for. Like “where is heaven?” And today, “When does Jordan’s daddy get back from Heaven?”
I actually can answer that one, although I certainly don’t like the answer. And it leads to only so many more questions that I cannot answer – about Heaven, Jesus, God, life and death.
She wants to know as I tuck her into bed at night when we are going to Disney World. Ben was not thrilled that I told her when she is 9, and Kavan is 7 and Kai is 5. I remember when my parents gave us specific ages, and yes we held them to it, and they took us on time.
A couple cute quotes: “I’m getting a bad heart.” I really wish Ben would be more careful about his library book selections for her age group.
(The next one was after another potty dance episode from Kavan, who was refusing to go potty by saying “It went back in.”) “It does not go back in Kavan. Potty comes out of you and it does not go back in and turn into food again.”
Ben
My dear husband is under more stress than ever before in his life: working, overtime, school, his men’s group, the promotional process at work, 3 disobedient children desperate for his attention and an exhausted wife. Most of the time he is handling it all very well actually, and we are both learning to reduce our commitments and “say no” more for the sake of our sanity. Physical fitness has always been a huge stress reliever for him and it has been amazing to see the difference in his persona since we have started working out again. I’m sure there is much more to be said about Ben but I’ll have to convince him to do his own post again soon.
Karissa
That leaves me. Do I have my own life? I will write this and then decide. I certainly think this section will be geared more towards the family in general. I figured out that the last time I wrote a blog entry was the day before I started employment at the Y. So THAT’S what tipped me over the edge.
In all seriousness though, that has been the most wonderful change, I can’t even begin to describe how much I love working there 2 hours a week, and how much the whole fam enjoys going their regularly for our workouts. The kids love “KidStuff”. They love to go swimming, and attend activities like “Messy Play,” swimming lessons and gym time. Mom and Dad are much happier getting exercise again. It feels great to be getting back into shape. I love teaching Bodypump. I would do it for free, and yet I get paid to get my workout in and we get a much reduced membership rate, after which I still do end up coming away with income each month, although so far it has been spent on Bodypump clothing and other workout materials.
Perhaps the bigger reason I haven’t had time to write is my running group which started in April. The end of March and beginning of April I was suddenly working full-time, literally, getting the group up and running. It has continued to be more work than I planned on, mostly in the large amount of email communication with the 25 participants in my class. I have enjoyed every minute of it, and it’s great to be running again twice a week with the group, but I feel confident in my decision to charge more next year. I am offering the same rate to this year’s participants, and I’m pretty sure many will be back. I have been so excited to see how much the women love the group and to personally witness the healthy lifestyle changes. We don’t only run, we do walk/run intervals for more fat burning, and two overweight gals about my age have lost 25 pounds.
BUSY? – I am becoming convinced this is a very relative term. Let me back up - Recently I’ve felt convicted through more than one church sermon to “slow down” and make more room for enjoyment in life. I’ve thought about it long and hard to come up with ways to do this and was not able to come up with many ideas for changes to make. Sure there are the financially unrealistic (“don’t work”), but I couldn’t come up with many doable options for us. Instead I concluded for the most part we are doing what we can in this area. We are definitely learning to say no more, and I even took Kaylin out of a dance class that she loved, that was FREE, to get back to the “1 activity at a time rule” since we are in swimming lessons. Back to busy being a relative term: Despite the number of things going on the last few months and how crazy it all must sound, I feel less stressed than I have in a long time. I don’t consider us more busy because we take the kids to swimming lessons once a week. Let me tell you, when we are out and about with them, it feels a LOT less busy than being at home with them!
I often talk about how crazy it is, and typically I’m only referring to parenting 3 kids under 5. (Oh no, I can’t say that any more! I remember when I used to be able to say 3 kids under 4!) The truth is I really don’t like it most of the time and despite everyone’s warnings I really do look forward to them growing up a bit. People say all the time “enjoy them while they’re young” and Ben and I just can’t figure out how to do that when they are not enjoyable! I sometimes wonder if I would have had kids as soon as I did if I really would have known how hard it is. I sometimes wonder if I would have had kids! No wonder no one truly warns you, the population would go extinct!
I’m still trying to solve the mystery of where my time goes each day. I’m puzzled at how to find time to play with the kids. I prepare simple meals, serve them, clean up after them, do dishes and laundry, change diapers and force potty breaks, break up fights, and clean up spills and messes. I check email and only write back half the time. I long for having more to show for my day.
I write only to describe the mystery, not to complain. Okay maybe a little. But I am coming more and more to terms with my stage of life, reducing my expectations and accepting more my circumstances. I know how quickly these days will go by. I do not know how Kaylin became 5. Pretty soon Kai will be too. And then Kaylin will remind me we need to go to Disney World.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
silly times
My children provide me with much needed "silly" entertainment.
Kaylin's favorite two words are "Oprah" and "Obama." I do not know where she learned about Obama, probably Ben complaining, and I can guarantee you that she does not know of the political connection between the two. She simply finds them both funny words to say, and she thinks she is speaking French! She will randomly blurt out "Oprah!" "Obama!"
Recently when we were driving Kaylin suddenly became excited as we passed a big truck. "Mommy! Grandma calls those Sam-Is!"
My favorite car conversation between the kids is when Kaylin and Kavan ask each other "Do you remember when the turkey ran over the car?" They discuss this one regularly. (If you do not know this story ask one of my sisters who was with them when it happened.)
Kai is not silly. He is just sweet. He giggles, gives high fives, claps, plays peekaboo, and shakes his head back and forth just to see if he can get you to copy him. He wants to walk but just isn't sturdy enough. He just wants to take off when you grab his fingers, but have you ever tried to balance a toothpick standing on its end?! He looks funny crawling on his hands and knees now, since he finally learned how but looks too "mature" for this.
Kaylin's favorite two words are "Oprah" and "Obama." I do not know where she learned about Obama, probably Ben complaining, and I can guarantee you that she does not know of the political connection between the two. She simply finds them both funny words to say, and she thinks she is speaking French! She will randomly blurt out "Oprah!" "Obama!"
Recently when we were driving Kaylin suddenly became excited as we passed a big truck. "Mommy! Grandma calls those Sam-Is!"
My favorite car conversation between the kids is when Kaylin and Kavan ask each other "Do you remember when the turkey ran over the car?" They discuss this one regularly. (If you do not know this story ask one of my sisters who was with them when it happened.)
Kai is not silly. He is just sweet. He giggles, gives high fives, claps, plays peekaboo, and shakes his head back and forth just to see if he can get you to copy him. He wants to walk but just isn't sturdy enough. He just wants to take off when you grab his fingers, but have you ever tried to balance a toothpick standing on its end?! He looks funny crawling on his hands and knees now, since he finally learned how but looks too "mature" for this.
Kai got into Kaylin's Easter candy today. I wasn't intending almonds to be in his diet yet, and had Kaylin disobeyed (like Kavan did) and eaten them all the first day, this wouldn't have happened! I was wondering why I was on email a whole uninterrupted 5 minutes while hearing no fussing from the living room. He thoroughly enjoyed his organic dark-chocolate covered almonds and so did his clothes and the carpet.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Lent Report
Despite the fact that we are not Catholic, Ben and I have found it a beneficial tradition to "give something up" for the purpose of increasing our reliance on God.
My goal was to give up two things, sweets and my stress level.
Here is a report of the outcome:
Sweets - this was not nearly as hard as I thought! I have never gone that long without a pop, even though on average now days I only have one organic pop every two weeks. I don't typically have other sweets in my home, except organic chocolate and my favorite in-a-hurry breakfast treat, organic chocolate toaster pastries. So I gave those up, and I gave up any of those away-from-home temptations that show up. It's surprising how frequently one encounters sweets away from home! Sometimes I was almost relieved to have an excuse to turn them down. Don't we often eat only due to social pressure? Sometimes I was disappointed. It was so hard to turn down a lemon bar! But overall I was surprised by how NOT difficult this was for me. I wanted to give up all sweets but organic chocolate, but Ben said NO, we are having NO sweets. I did not think I could do it. I thought I would be starving and give into a "quick and easy" toaster pastry at some point. I did not. Ben did cheat one or two times. :) This whole experience taught me that alternative choices are available, and that someday I will be able to give them up altogether. I was excited to eat ice cream yesterday. But I couldn't even finish it all! It was too rich. I drank a pop and had oreo pie. I ate a homemade caramel. Today I will stick to organic chocolate. But that's it! I don't feel a need for more. I know now how unnecessary these things are. And, I lost a few pounds unintentionally. Fitting into some old pants is definitely worth saying no to sugar.
Stress: I really did okay with this one. Despite all the regular pressures and deadlines I really don't feel I got "stressed." I definitely noted regularly the discrepancy between the tasks that needed to be accomplished, and the time available to do them. Ben will say I still brought this up too often. I would say I was being proactive: noting a problem, and doing something to fix it. I asked for help when I needed to. Unfortunately not as much help came through as I was hoping for, so with taxes due around the corner, today it's time to be stressed again :)
Spiritually - I did occasionally reflect on how much greater God can fill my needs than the temporary fix of giving in to a craving. I did read my Bible more and definitely realized how much starting my day in this way reduced my stress level. I am more determined to meet the goal of Matt. 6:33 (the "seek ye first" verse).
Next year we will have to do pizza. Even the organic frozen ones. Instead we will have to plan more meals, and be all the healthier for it. Our kids would love this actually...have you ever met kids that don't like pizza?! They complain every time.
My goal was to give up two things, sweets and my stress level.
Here is a report of the outcome:
Sweets - this was not nearly as hard as I thought! I have never gone that long without a pop, even though on average now days I only have one organic pop every two weeks. I don't typically have other sweets in my home, except organic chocolate and my favorite in-a-hurry breakfast treat, organic chocolate toaster pastries. So I gave those up, and I gave up any of those away-from-home temptations that show up. It's surprising how frequently one encounters sweets away from home! Sometimes I was almost relieved to have an excuse to turn them down. Don't we often eat only due to social pressure? Sometimes I was disappointed. It was so hard to turn down a lemon bar! But overall I was surprised by how NOT difficult this was for me. I wanted to give up all sweets but organic chocolate, but Ben said NO, we are having NO sweets. I did not think I could do it. I thought I would be starving and give into a "quick and easy" toaster pastry at some point. I did not. Ben did cheat one or two times. :) This whole experience taught me that alternative choices are available, and that someday I will be able to give them up altogether. I was excited to eat ice cream yesterday. But I couldn't even finish it all! It was too rich. I drank a pop and had oreo pie. I ate a homemade caramel. Today I will stick to organic chocolate. But that's it! I don't feel a need for more. I know now how unnecessary these things are. And, I lost a few pounds unintentionally. Fitting into some old pants is definitely worth saying no to sugar.
Stress: I really did okay with this one. Despite all the regular pressures and deadlines I really don't feel I got "stressed." I definitely noted regularly the discrepancy between the tasks that needed to be accomplished, and the time available to do them. Ben will say I still brought this up too often. I would say I was being proactive: noting a problem, and doing something to fix it. I asked for help when I needed to. Unfortunately not as much help came through as I was hoping for, so with taxes due around the corner, today it's time to be stressed again :)
Spiritually - I did occasionally reflect on how much greater God can fill my needs than the temporary fix of giving in to a craving. I did read my Bible more and definitely realized how much starting my day in this way reduced my stress level. I am more determined to meet the goal of Matt. 6:33 (the "seek ye first" verse).
Next year we will have to do pizza. Even the organic frozen ones. Instead we will have to plan more meals, and be all the healthier for it. Our kids would love this actually...have you ever met kids that don't like pizza?! They complain every time.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
YES!
I passed! The outcome choices were "pass" "pass withheld" and "resit" which mean: you can teach on your own, you can teach with someone else for awhile until you get better, or you have to take part of the class over. All I hoped for was a "pass withheld" and I got a PASS!
The end of class was emotional. It felt like we'd been together for a month and it was hard to say goodbye to the fellow trainees and really to the whole experience. Despite the difficulty it was amazing. The whole class was energizing and inspiring. I still had energy left over when I got home early this evening and I showed Ben and the kids some moves. An hour later I COMPLETELY crashed. I slept about 5 hours all weekend. I'm afraid for the limited mobility tomorrow will bring. Thankfully I cancelled my class for tomorrow night! Going to bed now...
The end of class was emotional. It felt like we'd been together for a month and it was hard to say goodbye to the fellow trainees and really to the whole experience. Despite the difficulty it was amazing. The whole class was energizing and inspiring. I still had energy left over when I got home early this evening and I showed Ben and the kids some moves. An hour later I COMPLETELY crashed. I slept about 5 hours all weekend. I'm afraid for the limited mobility tomorrow will bring. Thankfully I cancelled my class for tomorrow night! Going to bed now...
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Bodypump
As the instructor would say, I’m about to join the ranks of 70,000 instructors worldwide who survived the certification training for the largest branded group fitness class in the world. Currently I’m in the middle on the most physically intense weekend in my life. I did and didn’t know what I was getting myself into (all to teach at the Y). Survivor meets Army Boot Camp meets American Idol Hollywood Week meets high school danceline tryouts. The choreography we need to learn makes these days more than mentally challenging as well. Luckily we have only “Paula” and “Randy” judges and no Simon. If you want to see a picture of our male instructor go to the website www.lesmills.com and he’s on the front page (before the other pictures start flashing). He flew in from Pennsylvania to spread his bodypump enthusiasm.
Yesterday’s training went from 9.5 hours long, then we got home at 10:30 p.m. (after finally eating dinner and then grocery shopping to have food for today since we all learned the hard way our breaks aren’t long enough to leave the building) and had to learn a back and glute workout routine to a song that was 6 minutes long. Then we had to be back at 8 this morning and got done at 6:10 this evening. We went 3 hours some times without even a short break. My bladder was in pain several times because if we had to leave the class when it was not a break time, we owed 20 pushups when we got back. Tomorrow we start at 7 a.m. Tonight I “only” have to learn a 3 minute routine. It’s 9, but I am writing because we were instructed to take a little mental break for ourselves. I just got back to the room because I needed to go shopping for our requirement to wear black and/or red for our assessment tomorrow.
The lowlight of this weekend is my severe lack of muscles compared to the other participants who already take this class regularly. The other women are very inspring though, and I know I’m on my way back there again. Even the women in their 50s were super cut and seemed decades younger with their energy level.
The highlight was the “Ultimate Bodypump Challenge”. After completing a 15 minute run and then the hour-long bootcamp where we had to push our limits on some of the weight exercises to show we can do more than we think – especially when we have a partner cheering us on, he set us up for what he said was the ultimate feat of Bodypump weekend, the 5 minute wall sit. He said nobody’s stopping until they fall down, you’d better not be able to stand up and walk away, and we’ll see how long you guys can last… This was a test of endurance and I knew I had an edge here (muscular strength and endurance are somewhat opposites), but still the longest I’d ever held the pain of a wall sit was 1 minute. The 3 men in the class of 23 were among the first to drop (to their credit men have a lower percentage of the endurance muscle fibers). The strongest woman dropped after about 1:30 and slowly the fittest of the fit each gave way. Myself and 3 others made it to the end. I was shaking and yelling and I had a crowd cheering me on to get me through the last impossible 30 seconds. Afterwards I was in tears. I don’t know if I’ve ever pushed myself that hard before.
I don’t know if I will pass tomorrow. There are no “fails” but I may have to come back and go through another Saturday again – and all the pain of that hardest middle day. This won’t be of course for a few more months and meanwhile I wouldn’t be able to teach. I’m having a lot of trouble concentrating on the choreography and my technique at the same time; the fatigue of these last few months is definitely showing up here. So if you read this on time, pray! Back to work….
Yesterday’s training went from 9.5 hours long, then we got home at 10:30 p.m. (after finally eating dinner and then grocery shopping to have food for today since we all learned the hard way our breaks aren’t long enough to leave the building) and had to learn a back and glute workout routine to a song that was 6 minutes long. Then we had to be back at 8 this morning and got done at 6:10 this evening. We went 3 hours some times without even a short break. My bladder was in pain several times because if we had to leave the class when it was not a break time, we owed 20 pushups when we got back. Tomorrow we start at 7 a.m. Tonight I “only” have to learn a 3 minute routine. It’s 9, but I am writing because we were instructed to take a little mental break for ourselves. I just got back to the room because I needed to go shopping for our requirement to wear black and/or red for our assessment tomorrow.
The lowlight of this weekend is my severe lack of muscles compared to the other participants who already take this class regularly. The other women are very inspring though, and I know I’m on my way back there again. Even the women in their 50s were super cut and seemed decades younger with their energy level.
The highlight was the “Ultimate Bodypump Challenge”. After completing a 15 minute run and then the hour-long bootcamp where we had to push our limits on some of the weight exercises to show we can do more than we think – especially when we have a partner cheering us on, he set us up for what he said was the ultimate feat of Bodypump weekend, the 5 minute wall sit. He said nobody’s stopping until they fall down, you’d better not be able to stand up and walk away, and we’ll see how long you guys can last… This was a test of endurance and I knew I had an edge here (muscular strength and endurance are somewhat opposites), but still the longest I’d ever held the pain of a wall sit was 1 minute. The 3 men in the class of 23 were among the first to drop (to their credit men have a lower percentage of the endurance muscle fibers). The strongest woman dropped after about 1:30 and slowly the fittest of the fit each gave way. Myself and 3 others made it to the end. I was shaking and yelling and I had a crowd cheering me on to get me through the last impossible 30 seconds. Afterwards I was in tears. I don’t know if I’ve ever pushed myself that hard before.
I don’t know if I will pass tomorrow. There are no “fails” but I may have to come back and go through another Saturday again – and all the pain of that hardest middle day. This won’t be of course for a few more months and meanwhile I wouldn’t be able to teach. I’m having a lot of trouble concentrating on the choreography and my technique at the same time; the fatigue of these last few months is definitely showing up here. So if you read this on time, pray! Back to work….
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Sweet "Toddler" Kai?
I think he will always be my "sweet baby Kai." Is it perhaps my own wishing and labeling that has stunted his growth and development? The toddler in Kai is finally emerging. He is cruising all over grabbing onto whatever he can find to pull him along and help him get around the room. If you leave for a minute he'll seem to have gone a mile (from a couch to a laundry basket to a table to a window...) by the time you get back. What's really fun is when he grabs onto my legs and allows me to "walk" him to his next landmark. He likes to walk hanging onto our hands too, and he likes his little walker toy. He is also CRAWLING up on his knees a few strokes, but then he decides he prefers his usual army crawl and plops back down. He is pulling himself to standing on the lego table and knocking down all his brother's and sister's creations. He is trying to crawl up the steps.
On another positive note he weighs 17.6 pounds! I finally remembered I have a digital scale. That means he's gained 1.1 pounds in the last six weeks. He only gained 2 pounds in the previous six months!
I think he's coming around. I will miss my sweet baby Kai.
On another positive note he weighs 17.6 pounds! I finally remembered I have a digital scale. That means he's gained 1.1 pounds in the last six weeks. He only gained 2 pounds in the previous six months!
I think he's coming around. I will miss my sweet baby Kai.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Uncrashing
Today I woke up 90% better! Kai slept almost all night! Ben stayed home one more day so I could rest up and not relapse again. By tonight I feel almost back to normal. Tomorrow I will go to a fitness certification class for teaching at the Y, which will also be helpful in healing since I'll get to just sit there all day listening. Sounds relaxing to me! I'm insulted though that I have to sit through hours of exercise science alongside people with no fitness background instead of being allowed to test out of the class. At least with this class and my bodypump training next weekend I will have all my continuing ed credits done and I won't have to cram a bunch of classes into May like I did two years ago! Finishing up my recert. in March is my idea of learning not to procrastinate. I'll just have to take a 2 hour CPR refresher in May and then I'm good to go for another two years. TTFN! (Thanks Sam for letting me know what this means... I'm still not in the loop with text messaging...)
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Crashing
I told a friend a few weeks ago I don't know how my body keeps going. I've been getting so little sleep for so long now... I wondered when I would crash. I was waiting for this moment where my body would give out on me.
Today I crashed. A couple of days ago I stopped taking my immune supplements because I thought I was getting better and we were running low on then. Now today I am so sick. I don't know what this is. I don't know if it's that same flu bug or if I have something new. Symptoms are the same with the addition of a sore throat this time. Ben stayed home today. He had to cancel a presentation to a class that he had already rescheduled from last time he was sick. He is running out of sick days. But he said I'm more important. Thanks babe.
I've gotten very little sleep the last few days. Kai had a few good nights where he was only up once and now he's back to 3 times at least. Just when I was finally ready to let him cry it out Ben decided he disagrees - that now's not the time to train him when we are sick. Last night I listened to him cry for an hour and half before giving in. I felt more miserable every minute and I just wanted to get back to sleep.
I don't know what tonight holds. I think I am too achy to sleep but I'm going to turn in early anyhow.
Today I crashed. A couple of days ago I stopped taking my immune supplements because I thought I was getting better and we were running low on then. Now today I am so sick. I don't know what this is. I don't know if it's that same flu bug or if I have something new. Symptoms are the same with the addition of a sore throat this time. Ben stayed home today. He had to cancel a presentation to a class that he had already rescheduled from last time he was sick. He is running out of sick days. But he said I'm more important. Thanks babe.
I've gotten very little sleep the last few days. Kai had a few good nights where he was only up once and now he's back to 3 times at least. Just when I was finally ready to let him cry it out Ben decided he disagrees - that now's not the time to train him when we are sick. Last night I listened to him cry for an hour and half before giving in. I felt more miserable every minute and I just wanted to get back to sleep.
I don't know what tonight holds. I think I am too achy to sleep but I'm going to turn in early anyhow.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Kaylin Talker Jo
"You're eating like a monkey" I think she said to me 3 times before I answered her. (I was eating a banana.)
At times I just get in a zone and everything the kids say blends together. With their constant arguing and fighting, my mind has learned how to tune stuff out. I also think there are times though where I need to stay on-track with them better and respond more immediately. It's hard to find the balance. She is always talking! Ben asked me during his sick week when he couldn't take it any more, "Is she always like this?!" "Like what?" I asked, completely confused. "Talking! nonstop all day long every day!" "Yes," I laughed, "I don't even notice it any more."
But most of the time I too am annoyed. I feel like she's at an age now where we need to instruct her on when it is appropriate to talk and what things are worth talking about. How on earth do I go about that? Another mom mentioned telling her daughter recently "you don't need to tell me about everything." I do not want to crush her spirit. But I also think I would have a more positive attitude toward her when she does talk if she would stop once in awhile! She is my little narrator. We are working on bossiness and tattling less - I suppose if we get those under control she won't have much left to say!
I'd love to hear your ideas.
At times I just get in a zone and everything the kids say blends together. With their constant arguing and fighting, my mind has learned how to tune stuff out. I also think there are times though where I need to stay on-track with them better and respond more immediately. It's hard to find the balance. She is always talking! Ben asked me during his sick week when he couldn't take it any more, "Is she always like this?!" "Like what?" I asked, completely confused. "Talking! nonstop all day long every day!" "Yes," I laughed, "I don't even notice it any more."
But most of the time I too am annoyed. I feel like she's at an age now where we need to instruct her on when it is appropriate to talk and what things are worth talking about. How on earth do I go about that? Another mom mentioned telling her daughter recently "you don't need to tell me about everything." I do not want to crush her spirit. But I also think I would have a more positive attitude toward her when she does talk if she would stop once in awhile! She is my little narrator. We are working on bossiness and tattling less - I suppose if we get those under control she won't have much left to say!
I'd love to hear your ideas.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Diagnosis: No flu shot
A casual passerby of the news this weekend will hear these 3 headlines regarding one top news story: MN's first flu death of the season, 12 year old girl, no flu shot.
If you listen a bit longer you will hear the family did not have health insurance (the government's fault, right?). On one station one time, I stuck through the story until they got to the point of interviewing a dept. of health official who said it is not known whether the flu shot would have helped; it hadn't yet been determined whether the girl had one of the 3 strains present in this year's vaccine.
Of course when they do determine this, the only result that will make it back on the news is if the strain tests positive as one in the shot. Makes sense to me that every "no flu shot" headline would be followed by this "unknown if it would have helped" disclaimer. But the public responds well to fear.
Instead the news got another story with the "massive rush to flu shot clinics expected Monday" headline.
Just once I'd like to hear discussion about nutritional and environmental influences on that girl's health. Did she eat only natural foods? What was her sugar consumption like the week before she got sick? Did she consume pasteurized milk, which increases mucus production in the body? Did she take any basic nutrition supplements to make up for where our modern diets fall short? Did she take anything to enhance her immune system function at onset of the illness?
Just once I'd like to hear a pros and cons discussion re: the flu shot. I would love to see a naturopathic or chiropractic doctor discuss side effects and alternatives to vaccination. But medicine owns the media and therefore this country. A study done outside of the U.S. of course showed a tenfold increase in Alzheimer's among patients who'd had just 3 flu shots in their lifetime (compared to those who'd had none). Since I had two before I knew better I'm on my way I guess.
I believe in flu shots for those who have compromised immune systems - the risks and benefits need to be weighed - but it's very unfortunate they still contain mercury in this part of the country (this costs the insurance companies less than non-mercury based preservatives) unless one has a special reason to request one without. Every year in MN there's a group at the capitol that tries to get the mercury out, but each year "50 cents - 1.00 more a shot? Denied!"
A healthy immune system can handle the flu. It is unfortunate that we have to suffer through these superbad strains that in my opinion have developed due to resistance to previous drugs and vaccines in the first place.
Guess we'll just have to hope the mercury-free vax group has their way before next year when all school children are required to get the flu shot (legislation is pending) . And thankfully I live in a state that allows exemptions!
If you listen a bit longer you will hear the family did not have health insurance (the government's fault, right?). On one station one time, I stuck through the story until they got to the point of interviewing a dept. of health official who said it is not known whether the flu shot would have helped; it hadn't yet been determined whether the girl had one of the 3 strains present in this year's vaccine.
Of course when they do determine this, the only result that will make it back on the news is if the strain tests positive as one in the shot. Makes sense to me that every "no flu shot" headline would be followed by this "unknown if it would have helped" disclaimer. But the public responds well to fear.
Instead the news got another story with the "massive rush to flu shot clinics expected Monday" headline.
Just once I'd like to hear discussion about nutritional and environmental influences on that girl's health. Did she eat only natural foods? What was her sugar consumption like the week before she got sick? Did she consume pasteurized milk, which increases mucus production in the body? Did she take any basic nutrition supplements to make up for where our modern diets fall short? Did she take anything to enhance her immune system function at onset of the illness?
Just once I'd like to hear a pros and cons discussion re: the flu shot. I would love to see a naturopathic or chiropractic doctor discuss side effects and alternatives to vaccination. But medicine owns the media and therefore this country. A study done outside of the U.S. of course showed a tenfold increase in Alzheimer's among patients who'd had just 3 flu shots in their lifetime (compared to those who'd had none). Since I had two before I knew better I'm on my way I guess.
I believe in flu shots for those who have compromised immune systems - the risks and benefits need to be weighed - but it's very unfortunate they still contain mercury in this part of the country (this costs the insurance companies less than non-mercury based preservatives) unless one has a special reason to request one without. Every year in MN there's a group at the capitol that tries to get the mercury out, but each year "50 cents - 1.00 more a shot? Denied!"
A healthy immune system can handle the flu. It is unfortunate that we have to suffer through these superbad strains that in my opinion have developed due to resistance to previous drugs and vaccines in the first place.
Guess we'll just have to hope the mercury-free vax group has their way before next year when all school children are required to get the flu shot (legislation is pending) . And thankfully I live in a state that allows exemptions!
Saturday, March 1, 2008
The Answer
Since I hope to have a chapter about the immune system in my book someday, (and considering our current circumstances!) I decided it was not a waste of time for me to spend 2 whole hours looking on the internet for an answer to my question: When it comes to natural treatments that aid in the body's immune response to a virus, why is it so absolutely necessary to take them at the very first signs of an illness (and why are they inneffective later on)? I wanted to know because of the extreme difference between Ben's and my responses to the same supplements.
The search was frustrating, because at first it seemed to only turn up the same question. Over and over again I came across various products that stated "take at first signs of illness" "take at onset of symptoms" "take as soon as you feel yourself coming down with something" etc etc.
On the plus side I got to learn more options that are available, and a few other random things about the immune system and health. I got to learn how some of the immune herbs work (like increasing white blood cells and T-cells, or antibacterial or antivral properties, or inhibiting enzymes that allow invaders to enter cells). I also learned that excess levels of vitamin C will cause a B vitamin depletion, so it's important to take extra B vits following a C regimen during an illness.
The reason I wanted to know the answer to my question so badly is because I did it again. I didn't think I could this time considering the severity of Ben's illness.
I used to be skeptical of immune supplements because I thought "well how do you know you would have gotten sick." That was until the last year of my life, where I actually have felt myself coming down with something several times, knowing I would be very sick by the next day. But then I wasn't. Once again I've had the same success fighting off this flu. For the past two days I have had all the same symptoms as Ben still, but to a MUCH lesser degree. If I didn't know what he has, I wouldn't know it's the flu and I'd be going on about life as normal, but since I do know what it is, I'm trying to stay away from others as best as I can to protect them.
When I was about to give up on my search I found the answer: Because the virus multiplies so quickly at first. You are probably thinking "duh!" I guess I was expecting something more profound.
The virus multiplies rapidly and once it's at its peak there's little that can be done and you just have to ride it out. The mechanisms by which the various supplements work are in this stage of preventing the virus from taking over, but once it has...
Even Tamiflu, the wonderdrug the govt. wants to stockpile in case of outbreaks, only works if taken in the first 48 hours according to the packaging. Ben decided not to take it since he was on his 3rd day. We looked online to double check and sure enough every description we found said the drug will only work if started within the first 2 days, and even then it only decreases the duration by a day. Hardly worth the numerous potential side effects.
I'd better go take my oregano, silver, echinacea, oscillococcinum and vitamin C and get to bed early tonight. Good night!
The search was frustrating, because at first it seemed to only turn up the same question. Over and over again I came across various products that stated "take at first signs of illness" "take at onset of symptoms" "take as soon as you feel yourself coming down with something" etc etc.
On the plus side I got to learn more options that are available, and a few other random things about the immune system and health. I got to learn how some of the immune herbs work (like increasing white blood cells and T-cells, or antibacterial or antivral properties, or inhibiting enzymes that allow invaders to enter cells). I also learned that excess levels of vitamin C will cause a B vitamin depletion, so it's important to take extra B vits following a C regimen during an illness.
The reason I wanted to know the answer to my question so badly is because I did it again. I didn't think I could this time considering the severity of Ben's illness.
I used to be skeptical of immune supplements because I thought "well how do you know you would have gotten sick." That was until the last year of my life, where I actually have felt myself coming down with something several times, knowing I would be very sick by the next day. But then I wasn't. Once again I've had the same success fighting off this flu. For the past two days I have had all the same symptoms as Ben still, but to a MUCH lesser degree. If I didn't know what he has, I wouldn't know it's the flu and I'd be going on about life as normal, but since I do know what it is, I'm trying to stay away from others as best as I can to protect them.
When I was about to give up on my search I found the answer: Because the virus multiplies so quickly at first. You are probably thinking "duh!" I guess I was expecting something more profound.
The virus multiplies rapidly and once it's at its peak there's little that can be done and you just have to ride it out. The mechanisms by which the various supplements work are in this stage of preventing the virus from taking over, but once it has...
Even Tamiflu, the wonderdrug the govt. wants to stockpile in case of outbreaks, only works if taken in the first 48 hours according to the packaging. Ben decided not to take it since he was on his 3rd day. We looked online to double check and sure enough every description we found said the drug will only work if started within the first 2 days, and even then it only decreases the duration by a day. Hardly worth the numerous potential side effects.
I'd better go take my oregano, silver, echinacea, oscillococcinum and vitamin C and get to bed early tonight. Good night!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
More than Enough
All of you
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and, every need.
You satisfy me
With your love,
And all I have in you
Is more than enough...
This is one of my favorite worship songs and I got to hear it on the way home from feeding Kai at a friend's house tonight. It came at the right time, as I feel myself coming down with Ben's flu.
Here is the much needed update:
My mom and dad took Kaylin and Kav for a couple days. A newer good friend of mine Kari took Kai for today and tonight. She is a brave soul for wanting to deal with Kai tonight and one of the most giving people I've ever known. It is one of the best gifts I've been given ever as a mom, yet the house feels so weird tonight I wonder if I'll be able to sleep.
I was so thankful for today. And for tonight. I'm thankful for friends and family coming around me in the right way when I felt I had nothing left to give. Tomorrow morning my sister-in-law will take Kai before I get Kjo and Kav for one more chance to accomplish something important. I've had other offers of help as well.
I'm doing everything I can to fight off this bug (with the limited herbs I can take while nursing) but judging by how hard it hit Ben it just may not be enough this time. That will make it the first time in the last couple years I've felt myself coming down with a virus and haven't been able to get rid of it within the day before the real sickness comes. I suppose I shouldn't be so pessimistic, but Ben's been miserable 4 days now, and none of our favorite homeopathic remedies are helping him much this time.
I'm surprised by how little I am anxious about this. If I get what Ben has I don't know how we'll make it through the weekend, especially considering my mom let me know the kids seem to be getting worse. Kaylin already fought off two bugs last week, Kav one, Kai one and me one, so I thought we were all done! They seemed perfectly fine when they left for grandma's (minor colds).
Yet I feel calm and encouraged by the music tonight. I know He'll provide a way through this. Somehow things always turn out okay.
Thanks everyone for their prayers and support.
Is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and, every need.
You satisfy me
With your love,
And all I have in you
Is more than enough...
This is one of my favorite worship songs and I got to hear it on the way home from feeding Kai at a friend's house tonight. It came at the right time, as I feel myself coming down with Ben's flu.
Here is the much needed update:
My mom and dad took Kaylin and Kav for a couple days. A newer good friend of mine Kari took Kai for today and tonight. She is a brave soul for wanting to deal with Kai tonight and one of the most giving people I've ever known. It is one of the best gifts I've been given ever as a mom, yet the house feels so weird tonight I wonder if I'll be able to sleep.
I was so thankful for today. And for tonight. I'm thankful for friends and family coming around me in the right way when I felt I had nothing left to give. Tomorrow morning my sister-in-law will take Kai before I get Kjo and Kav for one more chance to accomplish something important. I've had other offers of help as well.
I'm doing everything I can to fight off this bug (with the limited herbs I can take while nursing) but judging by how hard it hit Ben it just may not be enough this time. That will make it the first time in the last couple years I've felt myself coming down with a virus and haven't been able to get rid of it within the day before the real sickness comes. I suppose I shouldn't be so pessimistic, but Ben's been miserable 4 days now, and none of our favorite homeopathic remedies are helping him much this time.
I'm surprised by how little I am anxious about this. If I get what Ben has I don't know how we'll make it through the weekend, especially considering my mom let me know the kids seem to be getting worse. Kaylin already fought off two bugs last week, Kav one, Kai one and me one, so I thought we were all done! They seemed perfectly fine when they left for grandma's (minor colds).
Yet I feel calm and encouraged by the music tonight. I know He'll provide a way through this. Somehow things always turn out okay.
Thanks everyone for their prayers and support.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happily Ever After
One of my favorite things about being a mom is watching my kids' mental abilities develop. Their ability to learn, remember, put "two and two together"... etc.
So here are a bunch of examples of the little things that bring joy to
my day, mostly in everyone's favorite format: cute quotes.
The other day I decided to be adventurous and flip the radio dial from
KTIS. Country was first. After a few guitar chords of Dixie Chicks
aired, Kaylin shouted out "It's Old McDonald!" A few seconds later
when I paused on KDWB I got to hear "he said stupid!" Hmmm... I"ve
been trying to teach them when it is and isn't okay to stupid (we
don't call people stupid...) but it's now evident that we just need to
stop using that word all together.
Yes, she hears every word. Just yesterday we were enjoying some
country music at home. "Mommy, he said 'kick you in the butt!' "
Shoot. I liked that song. Clay Walker's "Then What," actually a good
song about why you shouldn't cheat on your spouse..."whacha gonna do when you can't turn back on the bridges you've burned, and they can't wait to kick you in the butt, then what..." Later in the song..."Mommy, he said 'consequences'!" Then they got silly. "He
said 'off'!" Later she got a kick out of the song "Dreaming with my eyes wide open."
Everywhere we drive they know where we're going. They recognize
landmarks; a year ago Kaylin knew when we were close to home. Now
it's "We're going to Kari's house!" "We're going to church!" Kav is
joining in too. More impressive was recently, when I was going over a
bridge about 10 miles from home with construction on it that we go
over about once a week. Kaylin said, "Drive on the right road this
time so you don't hit a car." I knew what she was referring to. A
couple weeks ago on that same bridge I had to swerve because a car rolled through a stop sign.
Kavan's memory capacity keeps growing too. One time when buttoning up his shirt he thought I missed one and started whining. He really wanted me to button the top one. I told him we don't do that one because it would make it too tight. Maybe I said it would choke him. Now every time he gets dressed:
"Don't do the top one!"
After preschool the other day, the one at Ben's high school, the fire
alarm went off as they were leaving the building anyway at the end of
class. In an ironic twist, Kav was crying that he didn't like that
and Kaylin said it wasn't too loud and she wasn't afraid. She asked
me why it went off and then attempted to answer her own question.
"because somebody was cooking something in the kitchen and there was smoke." Oh, is that what happened at our house once??? She must not have been satisfied with her answer though because she continued to ask 'why?' all the way home. Hence my voice problems. It is hurting lately, and so is Ben's. I talk all day long and always at a very loud volume to be heard over their fighting. Add that to teaching exercise classes and I'm in trouble.
In another example where she puts two and two together - To the
stuffed Hershey's Hug and Kiss on our counter for Valentine's day:
"Is this one a zebra?" (to the hug, of course!)
Then there is Kaylin's honesty I could do without. "Why is your face
a little red?" (because I don't have makeup on) "Your nose is red."
"Mommy, are you having another baby?" "No, I'm sorry honey, I'm not
having another baby." (I apologized because I thought we were back on the subject where she wants a sister.) "But your tummy is getting
big." Thank you Ben for clarifying to her that my tummy is not big and that it is GETTING SMALLER!
Kavan is quite the imitator. To Ben, when putting him on a time
out."Daddy, you know better."
Kaylin is figuring out how we are different from others and noting
these things... wanting to join the "in crowd." "We need a van."
"When are we getting a duck (deck)?" The latest (while whining) -
"Mommy, Rachel and Jon's walls are painted. When are we going to
paint our walls?"
She is picking up on our health-conscious choices. To candy she wants
to eat. "It doesn't have any sugar in it." To a water fountain she
just took a drink at: "This water's good. It doesn't have any
chemicals in it." To a plastic cup that I accidentally called her
glass. "It's not a glass, it's made of vinyl." Actually it's not, but
interesting how she put the plastic-vinyl connection together.
One of the hardest part of the stage they've gotten to is making an
effort not to fight in front of them! Suddenly it's evident how much
they hear and how it affects them. I didn't think it was that bad the
other night, but later Kaylin said to Ben "You need to talk to God and
mommy needs to talk to Jesus and He'll tell you to be nice to each
other's hearts." Ouch!
We hope we made up for it the next night when she saw us kissing and exclaimed "You lived happily ever after!"
Friday, February 8, 2008
A Good Rule to Follow
A counselor once declared me to be a rule-follower. I live my life by a list of dos and don'ts, choosing what I "should" do, and not leaving much room for "what I feel like."
Although she explaind how this contributes to my stress, I think sometimes this may be a good thing. Today I followed the "mom rule" - save yourself first. The one I hear in every parenting talk I've ever heard, and read in every book on mothering. It goes like this: Follow the stewardess. Put on your own oxygen mask first; you can't help anyone else when you can't breathe.
So after another hard week of realizing how much it actually does affect my family when I'm so crabby and resentful all the time, today I paid a friend to watch my kids and I sat in the hot tub. This was very difficult to do with my neverending to-do list. I did not want to get in. I felt mad about this choice. I threw in the lavendar aromatherapy bubble bath, and as I was turning on the jets Ben called.
"I am hoping to come out a new person!" I said. He laughed. "Who do you want to come out as?" "I don't know! somebody sane!"
I don't want to carry this stress any more. For Lent, I am giving up my stress. And maybe sugar. The jury's still out on that one.
I was inspired by my women's Bible study book the other day: "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World," and today I'm making a conscious effort to give give God my stress. He's the only one who can carry it for me; the necessary step is to let Him. So with a trusting heart and a purposed mind (it helps to make a few smart decisions - like checking email less often!!!)... here I go.
I'll end with a cute quote - although maybe not so funny. Last night when Kaylin was asked by Ben how preschool was that day, this was her response.
(Loud sigh). "I just don't know. I was tired and stressed. There was a lot of people there."
I did emerge from the jacuzzi a "new person." Rather wrinkled, but quite refreshed.
Although she explaind how this contributes to my stress, I think sometimes this may be a good thing. Today I followed the "mom rule" - save yourself first. The one I hear in every parenting talk I've ever heard, and read in every book on mothering. It goes like this: Follow the stewardess. Put on your own oxygen mask first; you can't help anyone else when you can't breathe.
So after another hard week of realizing how much it actually does affect my family when I'm so crabby and resentful all the time, today I paid a friend to watch my kids and I sat in the hot tub. This was very difficult to do with my neverending to-do list. I did not want to get in. I felt mad about this choice. I threw in the lavendar aromatherapy bubble bath, and as I was turning on the jets Ben called.
"I am hoping to come out a new person!" I said. He laughed. "Who do you want to come out as?" "I don't know! somebody sane!"
I don't want to carry this stress any more. For Lent, I am giving up my stress. And maybe sugar. The jury's still out on that one.
I was inspired by my women's Bible study book the other day: "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World," and today I'm making a conscious effort to give give God my stress. He's the only one who can carry it for me; the necessary step is to let Him. So with a trusting heart and a purposed mind (it helps to make a few smart decisions - like checking email less often!!!)... here I go.
I'll end with a cute quote - although maybe not so funny. Last night when Kaylin was asked by Ben how preschool was that day, this was her response.
(Loud sigh). "I just don't know. I was tired and stressed. There was a lot of people there."
I did emerge from the jacuzzi a "new person." Rather wrinkled, but quite refreshed.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Coming off the Night Shift
When I got to the dentist today for my 6-month checkup the hygienist asked if I had just gotten off the night shift. She was not being sarcastic. When I told her no she almost didn't believe me, and went on and on about how tired I looked. Finally I told her I have 3 kids under 5.
That is worse than the night shift. It IS a night shift, but it's a day shift too. And an evening shift. You never get a break. I haven't slept more than 6 hours in a night in months, and 6 is even rare and broken up. Although my physical energy level never ceases to amaze me, my mental energy is gone. I'm a mean mom and a crabby wife.
She started complimenting me on my teeth and told me I looked darling, to make up for her comments on how tired I looked. Then she said I must be a great mom. How would she know?! I listened to a good half hour of flattery and empathy regarding my sleep and mom status. I really wasn't in the mood for it, and I wasn't much of a conversationalist with her hands and instruments in my mouth. The visit ended as usual, with their suggestion of bleaching my tea-stained teeth. Today she said it just may be the boost I need as a mom of 3 kids under 5. Only $350.
I am not feeling positive today. I am behind on dishes, behind on laundry, my house is a mess, I have about 40 emails in my inbox waiting for a response, several phone calls I need to make... and it's not like I have happy obedient children to show for it. Right now all I want to do is cry. Or write. That's what I chose. Now back to laundry.
That is worse than the night shift. It IS a night shift, but it's a day shift too. And an evening shift. You never get a break. I haven't slept more than 6 hours in a night in months, and 6 is even rare and broken up. Although my physical energy level never ceases to amaze me, my mental energy is gone. I'm a mean mom and a crabby wife.
She started complimenting me on my teeth and told me I looked darling, to make up for her comments on how tired I looked. Then she said I must be a great mom. How would she know?! I listened to a good half hour of flattery and empathy regarding my sleep and mom status. I really wasn't in the mood for it, and I wasn't much of a conversationalist with her hands and instruments in my mouth. The visit ended as usual, with their suggestion of bleaching my tea-stained teeth. Today she said it just may be the boost I need as a mom of 3 kids under 5. Only $350.
I am not feeling positive today. I am behind on dishes, behind on laundry, my house is a mess, I have about 40 emails in my inbox waiting for a response, several phone calls I need to make... and it's not like I have happy obedient children to show for it. Right now all I want to do is cry. Or write. That's what I chose. Now back to laundry.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Superbowl Giggles
Tonight with baby Kai was so precious. Although Ben and I planned on finishing the game ourselves after the kids went down, Kai had other plans. We wondered if our babysitter had given him coffee beans. Since he hadn't seen us most of the day (Shayna came to help w/ kids in the morning and this evening we took them to a sitter so we could go to a restaurant to watch the game), he probably just wanted to play.
For a whole hour we got wide-eyed grins, giggles and games. He was trying to bite us. Giggles. He was pulling Ben's drawstring out of his sweatshirt with his teeth. Giggles. He would pull Ben's hand from resting on his stomach to up over his eyes. Major giggles. And before all of this Kai "cruised" for the 1st time. He pulled himself along the coffee table and then into my arms for a big hug.
Ben and I had a blast with Kai tonight, and suddenly he didn't seem so "behind" either.
For a whole hour we got wide-eyed grins, giggles and games. He was trying to bite us. Giggles. He was pulling Ben's drawstring out of his sweatshirt with his teeth. Giggles. He would pull Ben's hand from resting on his stomach to up over his eyes. Major giggles. And before all of this Kai "cruised" for the 1st time. He pulled himself along the coffee table and then into my arms for a big hug.
Ben and I had a blast with Kai tonight, and suddenly he didn't seem so "behind" either.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Quiet. Thankful.
I just stood outside in minus 7 degree weather unloading a semi trailer parked on a narrow back road in Hugo with flashlights. The misery didn't set in until I was back in the truck driving home and I realized how much pain my toes were in.
Really it was a good night. It was quiet. Quiet is so rare for me. Every minute of every day is incredibly loud at my house. It's a great relief when the kids are napping but even then the sound of the washer and dryer remains. Tonight I hired a sitter and went to the library to catch up on email. Quiet. I drove to the delivery pickup for my monthly bulk grocery order. Quiet. I waited for the truck to arrive and stayed in my truck with the heat blasting onto my hands. Pretty quiet.
Quiet provides much needed time to think. My mind gets so behind and it is in these catch-up opportunities that I finally have time to process everything. Tonight my thoughts focused on gratefulness. I tend to be a complainer and so many times I focus on the same few things that cause me to be often upset . Tonight I felt satisfied, thankful for all the positives in my life right now.
I was thankful for my grocery delivery. I was happy to see a woman there who is in my other buying club as well. It's a small world, us metro natural foodies. Wholesale buying clubs have to be one of the best kept secrets in the country, and I'm thankful for the opportunity given us to eat real food at affordable prices. Even if I have to stand outside a few minutes and freeze off my toes.
Really it was a good night. It was quiet. Quiet is so rare for me. Every minute of every day is incredibly loud at my house. It's a great relief when the kids are napping but even then the sound of the washer and dryer remains. Tonight I hired a sitter and went to the library to catch up on email. Quiet. I drove to the delivery pickup for my monthly bulk grocery order. Quiet. I waited for the truck to arrive and stayed in my truck with the heat blasting onto my hands. Pretty quiet.
Quiet provides much needed time to think. My mind gets so behind and it is in these catch-up opportunities that I finally have time to process everything. Tonight my thoughts focused on gratefulness. I tend to be a complainer and so many times I focus on the same few things that cause me to be often upset . Tonight I felt satisfied, thankful for all the positives in my life right now.
I was thankful for my grocery delivery. I was happy to see a woman there who is in my other buying club as well. It's a small world, us metro natural foodies. Wholesale buying clubs have to be one of the best kept secrets in the country, and I'm thankful for the opportunity given us to eat real food at affordable prices. Even if I have to stand outside a few minutes and freeze off my toes.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Bittersweet Birthday
I expected to have a lot of emotion today. Really the day is going by as quickly and crazily as any other day. Not a lot of time to think, let alone feel.
But when I do reflect I'm sad. This day seems to signify the end of babyhood forever. I do believe babies might be my favorite stage of child-raising, and I won't have that again.
To celebrate this anniversary Ben and I watched the birth last night on our computer. He has been taking on the high-tech project of putting all our videos on DVD. It was my first time seeing it. I was told not to watch it right awa; that it would alter my memories of what happened and change my perspective. Even a year later I was nervous. What I remember was the most amazing day of my life. Feeling a part of a miracle in a bigger way than ever before.
Watching the video did not disappoint. I didn't mind hearing the moans - it was actually less than I thought. The birth happened so quickly once I was in the water. I remember welcoming the pain, knowing I had chosen this. I remember that there is nothing I felt that I didn't want to be feeling, and although I thought it was probably good I'd saved my natural childbirth for last, immediately afterwards I knew I'd want to do it over again in a heartbeat. I'm still sad I won't get to go through that again, but life has it's seasons I guess.
I also feel a sense of relief today. Kai has now slept through the night twice in a row, and there certainly are things about the baby stage that will be nice to be done with! He doesn't nap in the middle of the morning any more. He takes a nice early nap before I have to go anywhere, and I'll be fine when he's all done with that. He feeds himself more and more with finger food. He gets around enough to entertain himself for small amounts of time. He occasionally will drink his milk cold.
There is also the happiness that Kai is really still a baby! He is still so cuddly and still nursing like a pro. He doesn't seem the least bit like a toddler yet and is nowhere near walking. But with every joy there is concerns... I'll look forward to asking his Dr some questions at his well-check next week!
So for everything that makes me happy on this day there is just as much making me sad. Tomorrow is a new day. Now if I can just get Kaylin and Kav (and myself and Ben!) to stop saying "baby Kai"... Yes, even "Happy Birthday" was sung to "baby Kai." He LOVED hearing all us sing to him.
Good night birthday boy, I love you!
But when I do reflect I'm sad. This day seems to signify the end of babyhood forever. I do believe babies might be my favorite stage of child-raising, and I won't have that again.
To celebrate this anniversary Ben and I watched the birth last night on our computer. He has been taking on the high-tech project of putting all our videos on DVD. It was my first time seeing it. I was told not to watch it right awa; that it would alter my memories of what happened and change my perspective. Even a year later I was nervous. What I remember was the most amazing day of my life. Feeling a part of a miracle in a bigger way than ever before.
Watching the video did not disappoint. I didn't mind hearing the moans - it was actually less than I thought. The birth happened so quickly once I was in the water. I remember welcoming the pain, knowing I had chosen this. I remember that there is nothing I felt that I didn't want to be feeling, and although I thought it was probably good I'd saved my natural childbirth for last, immediately afterwards I knew I'd want to do it over again in a heartbeat. I'm still sad I won't get to go through that again, but life has it's seasons I guess.
I also feel a sense of relief today. Kai has now slept through the night twice in a row, and there certainly are things about the baby stage that will be nice to be done with! He doesn't nap in the middle of the morning any more. He takes a nice early nap before I have to go anywhere, and I'll be fine when he's all done with that. He feeds himself more and more with finger food. He gets around enough to entertain himself for small amounts of time. He occasionally will drink his milk cold.
There is also the happiness that Kai is really still a baby! He is still so cuddly and still nursing like a pro. He doesn't seem the least bit like a toddler yet and is nowhere near walking. But with every joy there is concerns... I'll look forward to asking his Dr some questions at his well-check next week!
So for everything that makes me happy on this day there is just as much making me sad. Tomorrow is a new day. Now if I can just get Kaylin and Kav (and myself and Ben!) to stop saying "baby Kai"... Yes, even "Happy Birthday" was sung to "baby Kai." He LOVED hearing all us sing to him.
Good night birthday boy, I love you!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Not the Greatest Shopper
I have to laugh at how unsuccessful most of my shopping trips are when I actually do go to the store. Ever since buying groceries in bulk at a pickup location once a month, buying all my household items through Melaleuca and now using cloth diapers, I cannot believe how rarely I need to go shopping. Usually it's getting a gift for someone that finally gets me out. I'm very thankful for this since when I do go to the store, I go in with a list of 3 things and come out with 10 things. So my "home shopping" has been great for our budget!
But this weekend Kaylin needed shoes desperately and I didn't plan ahead enough to buy them on ebay. Feeling sorry for her feet, I took Kai to Walmart.
The trip started out great. Kai is a perfect angel in a shopping cart. He was completely content and never made a peep. I took my time wandering around to accomplish my list, and I didn't get too upset when I couldn't seem to find anything I was looking for. 'There's always Target,' I thought, which was my next destination.
Then the trip took a turn for the worse. After an easy potty break (I love that at Walmart you can fit the cart easily into the handicapped stall.) where I talked to Kai the entire time to distract him from chewing on the cart handle, I wondered why there were urinals along the wall as I walked back out. Then a man washing his hands looked up at me.
It took me a second! At first I wondered why he was in there! "I went in the wrong one! I'm so sorry!" "that's okay" the worker said as friendly as he could. I went "across the hall" then to wash my hands. I hoped I wouldn't see the guy again as I made my way as fast as possible to the front of the store.
Then when all of my items had been rung up, I looked in my purse for my credit card. It wasn't there! I had taken it out that morning to pay for something online. I had no cash, and my checkbook was out of checks! She said they could hold my purchase for 24 hours, when I knew that I would not be going to Target now and would have to come back to the area the next day.
I left the store and thought 'I need to call Ben right away! He's not going to believe this!' ... only to discover my cell phone was left at home too.
The next day I had a bad shopping trip turned good. We went to Target first, this time I had Kaylin with. She loves our girls' shopping trips. We were at Target for 2 hours, most of the time looking at shoes (I needed some too. The ones I've been wearing almost every day for 3 years have holes on the bottom now.) The shoes were on 75% off clearance, and there were a TON... if you wear size 5 or 10! But if you weeded through the massive collection you could maybe find a deal. Kaylin and I did each get one pair for 3.74 each. Before that frustration I looked around the store for about 20 minutes for a replacement for a gift I'd just exchanged at the service desk. When I finally gave up I went back to the service desk to ask for the gift back. After they couldn't find it for 15 minutes and were calling other workers to the desk to help, this was where I got the sweet ending to another bad shopping trip. During our long shoe-shopping adventure, it had been put back out onto the floor on clearance, so I got to buy it back for 75% less than I had returned it for!
No it wasn't really worth it. I think I'll go back to shopping online.
But this weekend Kaylin needed shoes desperately and I didn't plan ahead enough to buy them on ebay. Feeling sorry for her feet, I took Kai to Walmart.
The trip started out great. Kai is a perfect angel in a shopping cart. He was completely content and never made a peep. I took my time wandering around to accomplish my list, and I didn't get too upset when I couldn't seem to find anything I was looking for. 'There's always Target,' I thought, which was my next destination.
Then the trip took a turn for the worse. After an easy potty break (I love that at Walmart you can fit the cart easily into the handicapped stall.) where I talked to Kai the entire time to distract him from chewing on the cart handle, I wondered why there were urinals along the wall as I walked back out. Then a man washing his hands looked up at me.
It took me a second! At first I wondered why he was in there! "I went in the wrong one! I'm so sorry!" "that's okay" the worker said as friendly as he could. I went "across the hall" then to wash my hands. I hoped I wouldn't see the guy again as I made my way as fast as possible to the front of the store.
Then when all of my items had been rung up, I looked in my purse for my credit card. It wasn't there! I had taken it out that morning to pay for something online. I had no cash, and my checkbook was out of checks! She said they could hold my purchase for 24 hours, when I knew that I would not be going to Target now and would have to come back to the area the next day.
I left the store and thought 'I need to call Ben right away! He's not going to believe this!' ... only to discover my cell phone was left at home too.
The next day I had a bad shopping trip turned good. We went to Target first, this time I had Kaylin with. She loves our girls' shopping trips. We were at Target for 2 hours, most of the time looking at shoes (I needed some too. The ones I've been wearing almost every day for 3 years have holes on the bottom now.) The shoes were on 75% off clearance, and there were a TON... if you wear size 5 or 10! But if you weeded through the massive collection you could maybe find a deal. Kaylin and I did each get one pair for 3.74 each. Before that frustration I looked around the store for about 20 minutes for a replacement for a gift I'd just exchanged at the service desk. When I finally gave up I went back to the service desk to ask for the gift back. After they couldn't find it for 15 minutes and were calling other workers to the desk to help, this was where I got the sweet ending to another bad shopping trip. During our long shoe-shopping adventure, it had been put back out onto the floor on clearance, so I got to buy it back for 75% less than I had returned it for!
No it wasn't really worth it. I think I'll go back to shopping online.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Confidence
Today I'm feeling behind on writing. I'm actually in the middle of writing 2 or 3 other blog entries, ones that take more thought, so they're not getting done!
But today I need to interject and just write about my most recent experience, speaking this morning! This was my 2nd paid speaking engagement, giving the same presentation I did in November. It felt like the stakes were higher since this time the setting would be more corporate, my "salary" was higher, and I would be speaking in front of one person I already knew. (Speaking in front of people I know is a lot scarier for me! Like practicing for my sisters and a friend a few days ago.)
The first surprise was that I found I was actually excited to go down there today. Bloomington, again! I need to expand my network on this side of the metro I guess...
The last time I spoke I was dreading it, "get this over with" I thought. Today I wanted to be there and I wanted to share. And based on my feedback from last time, I knew they would be interested in what I had to say.
The first VICTORY was that I was on time. I was behind getting the kids to the sitter's by 15 minutes but I had allowed an extra 15 minutes! :)
The conference room was a bit itimidating at first, very high tech, and I had the task of operating my Power Point and DVD clips from a touch-screen and remote. I had listeners through a teleconference who had dialed in from a satellite site as well.
From the beginning of my talk I could feel my confidence level was so much higher than I've ever felt previously in front of a group. I really felt that was the key today. I hardly ever stumbled over my words and I barely used my notes. I'd say I did as well as I'd hoped some day I would do.
To discover this new level of confidence today is very exciting for me because I know it will stick. I know it will go with me every time now, and I'm more confident than ever that I was made to do this.
But today I need to interject and just write about my most recent experience, speaking this morning! This was my 2nd paid speaking engagement, giving the same presentation I did in November. It felt like the stakes were higher since this time the setting would be more corporate, my "salary" was higher, and I would be speaking in front of one person I already knew. (Speaking in front of people I know is a lot scarier for me! Like practicing for my sisters and a friend a few days ago.)
The first surprise was that I found I was actually excited to go down there today. Bloomington, again! I need to expand my network on this side of the metro I guess...
The last time I spoke I was dreading it, "get this over with" I thought. Today I wanted to be there and I wanted to share. And based on my feedback from last time, I knew they would be interested in what I had to say.
The first VICTORY was that I was on time. I was behind getting the kids to the sitter's by 15 minutes but I had allowed an extra 15 minutes! :)
The conference room was a bit itimidating at first, very high tech, and I had the task of operating my Power Point and DVD clips from a touch-screen and remote. I had listeners through a teleconference who had dialed in from a satellite site as well.
From the beginning of my talk I could feel my confidence level was so much higher than I've ever felt previously in front of a group. I really felt that was the key today. I hardly ever stumbled over my words and I barely used my notes. I'd say I did as well as I'd hoped some day I would do.
To discover this new level of confidence today is very exciting for me because I know it will stick. I know it will go with me every time now, and I'm more confident than ever that I was made to do this.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Too Smart Kids
Kaylin is very crabby in the mornings most of the time. I asked her today why she was so sad. She thought about for a minute, and then said in all seriousness, "I slept on the wrong side of the bed again last night."
Kavan takes these developmental assessments I get in the mail every few months and his 3-year-old one just arrived. They want an example of some 4 or 5 word sentences he can say. Rather than trying to impress them with his 10-12 word sentences, this morning he gave me another idea with one of his frequent expressions:
"I want some probiotics, echinacea and silver!"
Here's where he's not so smart. The other day when a friend was watching the kids she asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. "A fireman? A doctor?" she asked...
"I want to be a princess!" he declared with exuberance.
Kavan takes these developmental assessments I get in the mail every few months and his 3-year-old one just arrived. They want an example of some 4 or 5 word sentences he can say. Rather than trying to impress them with his 10-12 word sentences, this morning he gave me another idea with one of his frequent expressions:
"I want some probiotics, echinacea and silver!"
Here's where he's not so smart. The other day when a friend was watching the kids she asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. "A fireman? A doctor?" she asked...
"I want to be a princess!" he declared with exuberance.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Birthday Cuddles
Baby #2 turned 3 years old today. I guess it's about time his age matched his "skill level." Kav & Kjo had fun tonight at the Bk playland. He didn't know or care that we'd run short on time to fulfill our original plans of going to a larger-scale indoor playground. We came home to cake (I was very proud of myself for getting my act together today and purchasing a cake mix while Kjo was at preschool) and a few presents. Grandma and Grandpa Johnson and Grandma and Grandpa Robinson called right in a row, and just in time before bed.
The best part of the night was just a bit ago when I woke him up for a 10 p.m. potty break. We are putting him to bed for now without his diaper to help with his rashes. He's so cute and cuddly when he's so out of it! Before putting him back to bed, I asked if I could rock him and he readily agreed. I sang a few of the songs I used to sing to him as a baby. He sucked his thumb and held his lambies in tight. I sang happy birthday one more time before tucking him back in. I left feeling very thankful for 3 whole years of cuddles.
The best part of the night was just a bit ago when I woke him up for a 10 p.m. potty break. We are putting him to bed for now without his diaper to help with his rashes. He's so cute and cuddly when he's so out of it! Before putting him back to bed, I asked if I could rock him and he readily agreed. I sang a few of the songs I used to sing to him as a baby. He sucked his thumb and held his lambies in tight. I sang happy birthday one more time before tucking him back in. I left feeling very thankful for 3 whole years of cuddles.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Someday
I am trying to find comfort in “someday.”
Someday I will have a clean house.
Someday my office will be organized.
Someday I will have walls painted with vibrant colors instead of pencil and crayons.
Someday I will have décor on those walls.
Someday I will have window treatments.
Someday I will sleep 8 hours in a row every night.
Someday I will have time to do something just for fun.
Someday I will have a minivan.
Someday we will have a family Y membership.
Someday we will be able to go out more.
Someday will come before I know it and the kids will be grown.
Although I do wish “these days” would be easier, I do not wish them to go by any faster.
Because someday I will be wishing for yesterday.
Someday I will have a clean house.
Someday my office will be organized.
Someday I will have walls painted with vibrant colors instead of pencil and crayons.
Someday I will have décor on those walls.
Someday I will have window treatments.
Someday I will sleep 8 hours in a row every night.
Someday I will have time to do something just for fun.
Someday I will have a minivan.
Someday we will have a family Y membership.
Someday we will be able to go out more.
Someday will come before I know it and the kids will be grown.
Although I do wish “these days” would be easier, I do not wish them to go by any faster.
Because someday I will be wishing for yesterday.
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