A Good Rule to Follow

A counselor once declared me to be a rule-follower. I live my life by a list of dos and don'ts, choosing what I "should" do, and not leaving much room for "what I feel like."

Although she explaind how this contributes to my stress, I think sometimes this may be a good thing. Today I followed the "mom rule" - save yourself first. The one I hear in every parenting talk I've ever heard, and read in every book on mothering. It goes like this: Follow the stewardess. Put on your own oxygen mask first; you can't help anyone else when you can't breathe.

So after another hard week of realizing how much it actually does affect my family when I'm so crabby and resentful all the time, today I paid a friend to watch my kids and I sat in the hot tub. This was very difficult to do with my neverending to-do list. I did not want to get in. I felt mad about this choice. I threw in the lavendar aromatherapy bubble bath, and as I was turning on the jets Ben called.

"I am hoping to come out a new person!" I said. He laughed. "Who do you want to come out as?" "I don't know! somebody sane!"

I don't want to carry this stress any more. For Lent, I am giving up my stress. And maybe sugar. The jury's still out on that one.

I was inspired by my women's Bible study book the other day: "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World," and today I'm making a conscious effort to give give God my stress. He's the only one who can carry it for me; the necessary step is to let Him. So with a trusting heart and a purposed mind (it helps to make a few smart decisions - like checking email less often!!!)... here I go.

I'll end with a cute quote - although maybe not so funny. Last night when Kaylin was asked by Ben how preschool was that day, this was her response.

(Loud sigh). "I just don't know. I was tired and stressed. There was a lot of people there."

I did emerge from the jacuzzi a "new person." Rather wrinkled, but quite refreshed.