a date night sent from Heaven

We celebrated our anniversary tonight. 4 days early because it really didn't feel like there was any other choice. I was in charge this year since Ben is the one making plans for my birthday. I knew where I wanted to go, but I had a little bit of a hard time tracking down the phone number since I didn't know the downtown Radisson had turned into a Crowne Plaza. After a few internet searches, I called to make the reservation a couple days ago at Le Carousel restaurant in St. Paul. But they did not give me the option of a Sunday night reservation.

"The restaurant closes on Wednesday" she said. For good. The famous revolving restaurant on the 22nd floor of what used to be the Radisson and is now the Crowne Plaza will exist no more. She patiently attempted to answer my many questions in her broken English as I fought back tears. "You mean we won't even be able to ride the elevator to the top?" It was in the elevator that Ben got down on his knee, and now the elevator will be closed too. Tonight was the fourth and last time I rode in that elevator. The first was with my dad. He gave me a purity necklace and a heartfelt letter on my 13th birthday. The second time was the night Ben proposed to me, and the third was our 4th anniversary. Or was it our 2nd? Wow how time flies.

I was so sad to find this out and yet so relieved that I called just in time. I had 2 days to find a babysitter and get us to that restaurant to celebrate. I struggled with the decision of whether to go there for dinner or just dessert. It is so expensive...dessert would mean paying less, but having to go to another restaurant first and then paying an additional $20 for more sugar we don't need. I decided that even though we couldn't afford it we should just make it our dinner - I would order a salad, for only $15 - $20. Ben could order whatever he wanted and we'd just keep praying for the pending promotion... :)

After leaving directions with a new babysitter, we were running late of course but we headed down to St Paul. Ben can't handle surprises and asked questions on the way, trying to get a hint. "Is this at a restaurant on top of the Radisson?" "Nope!" I said, suddenly glad the Crowne Plaza had taken over the hotel... "Good guess, though!" "Is this at a restaurant on top of the Crowne Plaza?" he smiled 20 minutes later, as we waited at the stoplight right in front of the hotel.

We arrived at 6:35 for our 6:15 reservation - the PERFECT time. Because even as I continued to question my decision to buy dinner instead of just dessert, as we stepped off the elevator an old lady who was getting on offered us a coupon. "It's worth $26" she said. Buy-one-get-one-free entrees, tonight for the "last spin on the Carousel". I was shocked. After the elevator door closed and she was gone, I SO wanted to chase her down and give her a hug. She'll never know how much she made my night.

On top of that, the waitress asked if we were there for any special occasion. She offered us a free dessert!

Thank you, God for affirming our anniversary plans. We couldn't have made it through the last 7 years without you.

Friendly

Taking children on a walk is a great way to get to know your neighbors, as they call out to everyone they meet. Tonight after our short walk in which we made it down the street past about 3 houses before Kav gave up on his trike, we were hanging out in the front yard. An old friend from college who happens to live nearby rode by on her bike. Kaylin and Kavan greeted her as if she was their old friend. Most of the talking took place between Kaylin and Sarah. Kaylin took great interest in her life, asking all about her dad, her brothers, her bike tires, her church (which happens to be ours) and her house color. I don't remember introducing them but Kavan called her name every time he addressed her and said "Bye Sarah!" about ten times as she rode out the driveway.

What would the world be like if we were all this friendly? How would it change if we were all this interested in other people? I'm thankful I have my children to remind me of these important life skills.

Wishing for the Good Ol' Days

I don't think it was supposed to be like this. Cooped up families fending for themselves in houses way too large to take care of. There's something to be said for the historical days of large families in tiny huts, generations taking care of each other, tight-knit communities, mothers raising their children alongside each other every step of the way. It probably wasn't as noticeable to these women when their husbands were out on the fields for a few more hours on a given day.

For me I'm usually at the end of my rope by 5 p.m. Most nights there is relief but several times a month there is not. Last night was one of those nights, and an especially difficult one at that. I didn't write last night. I want my journal entries to be positive. Honest, but positive. Positive is good for me and good for my readers.

Last night the trouble was that baby #3, who already is all-consuming in the evening hours, is getting a tooth. Even on a good day the other two are not okay with the amount of attention he requires and they find nights like last night the perfect opportunity to act up, look for trouble, and be especially whiny.

In most ways I'm actually finding 3 kids to be easier than 2; perhaps that is another journal entry. But the absolute most difficult thing about #3 is that he is constantly being woken up by what goes on between #1 and #2. You'd think he'd be my heavy sleeper - he heard it all in utero and with the screaming and yelling and shrieking laughter all day long he should sleep through anything. Not so! I can't tell you how hard it is to get a regular schedule going with his regularly interrupted naps. Even the noisemakers running aren't enough at times.

I feel like I've learned a little better to ask for help this past year. But sometimes it's just not available....or expensive. And if hired help was an option Ben wouldn't be working so much in the first place.

This weekend is starting with Ben being gone from the house for overtime shifts 33 out of 48 hours. This means when he's actually home he's sleeping - or attempting to through the noise. He doesn't even get one full "night's" sleep. Someone offered to take his morning shift and wasn't allowed - The department's OT policy...now that's another story. Ben will not allow me to write to the chief. :) And perhaps that's best since he's being considered for a promotion that would make all these overtime hours unnecessary.

Here is the positive. I am not alone in this journey. I have a husband. He makes a very good living for our family and works hard even when he's home to help me out with the kids and the house. This one weekend will finish paying for our summer vacation and we will all be away from the house together for a week. I am thankful for the resources and healthy family that make all of this possible. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father who is helping me hold all this together. And I'm thankful for a husband who told me not to do the dishes last night and to just go to bed. I did sudoku instead until the numbers blurred together on the page, but I slept good last night.

The Invasion of the Trucks

They have overtaken the city of Forest Lake. They cause traffic jams and block intersections. Going the speed limit on Highway 97 is a thing of the past. They are huge. Construction trucks. Dump trucks. They tailgate me. I tailgate them. The now infamous "SiDumpers" travel to and fro along our one and only route to the freeway. Back and forth from their home station to what I believe is the casino racetrack project.

As I sat behind 5 of them in a row today at a stoplight I pondered what excuse I could find to complain to the city. What law could they be violating that if the police would enforce would get them off the road. I thought of nothing, but I'm most certain their should at least be a law prohibiting their travel during rush hour, when it takes 10 minutes to travel ONE mile.

They make us late. They make me nervous (one almost hit me today crossing the yellow line). They make me mad.

Just for fun I took a headcount today on my 4 mile trip down the highway when I returned home from getting Kaylin at VBS today. 32 of them. I saw 32 trucks longer than semis in 4 miles. I don't think I saw that many cars.

Perhaps a young Bob the Builder fan would enoy the parade. I'd rather never see another dump truck in my life.

Tanya

I know a lot about the people who used to have our phone number. "Used-to" as in at least 2 1/2 years ago, before we moved into this house! At first I was mad at Qwest for redistributing a phone number too quickly. But now I wonder why these people had such a large network of contacts they don't keep in very good touch with!

Their names are Tanya and Dale. Their last name was something like Madsen. They ran a business out of their home, called something like Bindery Enterprises. They did business with the Timberwolves, among others. I receive phone calls for them several times a month.

I have gotten to being not the friendliest with these callers. It's so hard for me to ever get to the phone on time in the first place, so I am more than annoyed with telemarketers and "wrong numbers". But now I'm starting to feel bad for these people. I sometimes hear the disappointment in their voices when they realize they aren't able to get a hold of their beloved Tanya. Sometimes I pick up and they say "Tanya!" Sometimes it's "Taaaaahnnnyaaaaa?" in this excited "can you believe it's me we haven't talked in forever" tone. (Just got another one of those, hence my inspiration for writing.) Recently I was very polite to an elderly woman caller. It was Tanya's grandmother! When I explained I never knew Tanya, she said in a cheery tone "Well, that's too bad, she's a really nice girl! You would really like her."

I bet I would. But I bet I'd never get a hold of her. If I ever do, here is what I'll say: TANYA - CALL YOUR GRANDMA ONCE IN 3 YEARS!

Priorities Pay Off

I'm excited to write tonight. I'm intrigued by this new concept of taking time for myself, taking care of me, etc. I'm starting to see a payoff already. (Yes, unfortunately I still am viewing this as a task to complete, that better have a result to show for it!) I believe that a happier, more rested mom is a great thing for my family. The ironic thing is that a week after starting my blog, here I sit in a clean house! It hasn't looked this good in a long time! I'm not talking perfection, just an improvement. Piles put away. A lot less clutter. I don't know how to explain this other than that this past week just "worked" better. I not only kept up with things, but I ate meals on time (vs. starving at 3:00 in the afternoon not having had lunch yet), finished a book, exercised a couple times, put on makeup more than once... and seemed to have more time to play with the kids too. I guess when you get your priorities straightened out things just fall into place better. The clean house is the biggest phenomenon, but it's no unsolved mystery: Saturday afternoon I had a TWO-HOUR chunk of time where ALL 3 KIDS were napping! A true miracle. And since Ben was around to help with the kids in the morning, I wasn't as zapped as normal by naptime and I had all the energy in the world. So tonight I don't feel one bit guilty taking time to write. The office around me is still a mess according to MOST standards...but I see a huge improvement from last week and that's good enough for now.

Culture Shock

Arriving home tonight was like culture shock. After 3 restful days of what now seems like silence, tonight came the noise. I realize now that the QUIET was the ultimate prize of this time away. I returned home to a house full - 8 adults 4 kids and a cat. Crying babies, shrieking toddlers...and yes even Kashi meowed for attention. (note to family - I loved having you! I'm just saying it was a shocking contrast to the weekend:) ) I'm excited to have Kaylin and Kav back though, and I know that tomorrow will not be quite the same mundane. Rather it will be full of adventure as our family reunites. Still insane, but not mundane.

The Write Retreat

I like to write! This just in. A slow discovery over the last year. After a lifetime of assuming I have no hobbies and avoiding any resemblance of fun. Writing is just the beginning actually. I've also found that outside of a mandated school subject, I do like to read! And I like math. And I'm proud of my ability to spell. I guess I just need to be reading/counting/spelling materials of my choosing. And so it is with writing. So putting my type-AAA personality aside at the risk of accomplishing nothing, I write. Although I have started to see some benefit from personal journaling, this online avenue seems to motivate. If somebody somewhere falls upon these words, then perhaps they can be put to use. To teach? encourage? inspire? This past year I've been both discouraged and intrigued in regards to the prospect of writing. All I know is this feels very healthy. A way to release, to let go and to laugh... a little scary, a bit revealing, but perhaps a very good use of my time. A necessary retreat. Let's see if I can stay convinced of that.

New Chaos

This is a new kind of chaos. I'm almost overwhelmed by it. I have one baby, and all the time in the world. Last time I had just one baby there was too much to do, too little time. 2 more kids later and there is still too much to do, too little time. It in incomprehensible that I could have felt the same with only one. Now with only one I feel a freedom that is too much to handle. He will sleep for a long time, at least twice a day for the next 3 days! And my housework was left behind. I sit here in a dark hotel room at 2 in the afternoon. I think I was too excited to nap, despite only 2 hours of sleep last night. I'm watching old movies on TV. They are capturing my interest even though I know what happens. I didn't think that was possible. There is still too much to do. Of course I couldn't leave home without bringing my "To-Do" pile with me. But there is all the time in the world. There are no deadlines. I think I'm finally starting to figure that out. I will still undoubtedly feel stress about how to best use my time. But I firmly believe it would NOT be good for me to accomplish my entire to-do list. Rather if I could make some time to enjoy myself, to enjoy life... I will arrive back home much more capable of conquering my little world again. I'm finally realizing this idea of being "caught up" is an illusion. It's not possible. It's time to start living anyway.