Wishing for the Good Ol' Days

I don't think it was supposed to be like this. Cooped up families fending for themselves in houses way too large to take care of. There's something to be said for the historical days of large families in tiny huts, generations taking care of each other, tight-knit communities, mothers raising their children alongside each other every step of the way. It probably wasn't as noticeable to these women when their husbands were out on the fields for a few more hours on a given day.

For me I'm usually at the end of my rope by 5 p.m. Most nights there is relief but several times a month there is not. Last night was one of those nights, and an especially difficult one at that. I didn't write last night. I want my journal entries to be positive. Honest, but positive. Positive is good for me and good for my readers.

Last night the trouble was that baby #3, who already is all-consuming in the evening hours, is getting a tooth. Even on a good day the other two are not okay with the amount of attention he requires and they find nights like last night the perfect opportunity to act up, look for trouble, and be especially whiny.

In most ways I'm actually finding 3 kids to be easier than 2; perhaps that is another journal entry. But the absolute most difficult thing about #3 is that he is constantly being woken up by what goes on between #1 and #2. You'd think he'd be my heavy sleeper - he heard it all in utero and with the screaming and yelling and shrieking laughter all day long he should sleep through anything. Not so! I can't tell you how hard it is to get a regular schedule going with his regularly interrupted naps. Even the noisemakers running aren't enough at times.

I feel like I've learned a little better to ask for help this past year. But sometimes it's just not available....or expensive. And if hired help was an option Ben wouldn't be working so much in the first place.

This weekend is starting with Ben being gone from the house for overtime shifts 33 out of 48 hours. This means when he's actually home he's sleeping - or attempting to through the noise. He doesn't even get one full "night's" sleep. Someone offered to take his morning shift and wasn't allowed - The department's OT policy...now that's another story. Ben will not allow me to write to the chief. :) And perhaps that's best since he's being considered for a promotion that would make all these overtime hours unnecessary.

Here is the positive. I am not alone in this journey. I have a husband. He makes a very good living for our family and works hard even when he's home to help me out with the kids and the house. This one weekend will finish paying for our summer vacation and we will all be away from the house together for a week. I am thankful for the resources and healthy family that make all of this possible. I am thankful for my Heavenly Father who is helping me hold all this together. And I'm thankful for a husband who told me not to do the dishes last night and to just go to bed. I did sudoku instead until the numbers blurred together on the page, but I slept good last night.